Author's Notes: This is a short science fiction story. It takes place in an AU sometime in the future.
Wednesday 9:00PM
"Honey, I'm home," a bubbly female voice called out. The oft-repeated joke still managed to make her smile for there was no one that came to greet her at the door. The one she addressed didn't even have a corporeal form yet it answered nonetheless.
"Hello Buffy," a second voice replied seeming to resonate from all around the room. "Did that slave driver you call a boss keep you late again?"
"Got it right in one." Buffy chuckled, her mood already lightening. Her CAI was right; the slave driver a.k.a. Mr. Morris, had kept her late again; the fourth time in two weeks.
"So aside from that," the voice continued. "How was the rest of your day, honey?"
"So-so." Buffy tossed her briefcase on the floor and flung herself on the sofa. "That guy Taylor tried hitting on me again. You'd think he'd get the hint after I blew him off so many times but he just keeps coming back."
"You blow him? Maybe that's your problem Buffy."
"Oh, hardy har har. You're such a comedian. Not. What kind of sick programming did they put into you at the factory?"
"I'm a CAI, version 2.14," the voice stated with an almost imperceptible hint of pride. "A Companion Artificial Intelligence. Whatever personality I end up with depends on the people I interact with and since you're the only one I talk to … "
Buffy rolled her eyes but couldn't erase the grin that had popped onto her face -- a fact that was duly noted by one of the CAI's peripheral cameras. "Can we at least cut back on the wiseass remarks until after dinner when I've recuperated some of my strength? No fair picking on the starving."
"By all means, proceed." Buffy could almost picture the smirk, if a hunk of plastic and metal could smirk, that is. "I wouldn't want to be labeled unfair, after all."
As Buffy went about the routine of cooking, her CAI went about its own tasks -- downloading current events, gossip, and book and movie reviews for future idle conversation, reviewing all recent conversations it had held with Buffy and tweaking its programming and personality accordingly, checking the footage on its peripheral cameras so it could come up with an appropriate comment on either Buffy's hair or her clothes, took note of Buffy's every gesture, every move, and a million other tasks its artificial mind ran every second.
Buffy went about reheating her dinner, oblivious of the level of multitasking taking place in her home. If she were somehow made aware of what her CAI was doing at that very moment and that 99.9% of what it was doing had her in the equation, she would've been taken aback to say the least. Not only did ordinary people not think about this kind of thing but multiple studies have conclusively shown that those living with a CAI are particularly adverse to being reminded of the fact that the one they talk to every day, the one they confide in, is nothing more than an ingenious piece of software when all is said and done.
Saturday 7:15 PM
"Buffy. Buffy. Wake up. You're going to be late."
A groan rose up from the lump of tangled sheets on the queen-sized bed. "Five more minutes," came the slurred entreaty.
"Do I look like I have a snooze button on me? Come on lazy bones, get up."
Buffy tossed back the sheets, revealing a nasty case of bed head she'd received over the course of the night.
"You know," she said, her eyelids still at half-mast. "If you keep talking back to me, I might just take you back to the store I brought you from and get myself a refund."
"The warranty's expired. And anyway, you'd miss me too much."
Buffy glared at the perceived smugness she could detect in the smoky voice and wished once again that CAIs came with a face so she could at least have something to glare at.
"Come on, get up or I'll have to sing some Tom Petty."
"I'm up. I'm up." Buffy quickly scrambled off the bed and proceeded to stumble into the bathroom. She still couldn't figure out why her CAI had such a horrible singing voice. The last time she was deigned with a performance, her ears almost started bleeding, it was so bad. She should have probably been more specific about her CAI's talents in the questionnaire they had her fill out beforehand.
But no matter how pushy and mouthy her CAI was, it was still strangely endearing. The user's manual had gushed on for pages on the ingenuity of the AI -- its ability to adapt and change based on the interactions it accumulated with its owner. But sometimes, Buffy was still surprised at how well it read her moods. It knew almost instinctively, if programs could be said to have instincts, when she wasn't in the mood to talk, when she was feeling playful, when she needed a sympathetic ear, when she just needed a voice to fill the void.
Sometimes, it was more human than human.
Shaking off these thoughts, Buffy finished her shower and went back into her bedroom to change.
"So I'll be back around 5:00," she said, putting the finishing touches on her makeup.
"That's if your boss doesn't pull out the asshole card and make you stay late again."
"Ugh. Don't remind me." Buffy made a face and straightened up.
"Just tell him if he doesn't let up, I'll go over there and kick his ass."
Buffy broke out into a chuckle. "I'm sure that'll leave him shaking in his booties. It's really sweet of you to offer though."
"Blame it on my personality matrix … Bye B."
Buffy paused only long enough to take in the new bastardization of her name with a shrug.
"Bye."
Friday 2:25 AM
"So how'd your date go?"
Buffy pitched herself onto her customary lounging position on the couch and let her shoes hit the floor with two muted thumps before answering.
"Um … we had dinner at this little Italian place. I had the ravioli. He had the veal. Then we went for a walk. It's a really nice night, y'know?"
"A balmy seventy-five degrees with clear skies and a wind blowing in from the northwest at 5 miles per hour."
"Okay smartass. Do you want to know about my night or don't you?"
"Sorry. Go ahead. If I was sitting on a chair, I'd be perched on the very edge."
"Riiight," Buffy said, stretching out the word. "Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was saying how we went for a walk. After that, we went back to his apartment, had sex and then I came back here. That's my night in a nutshell. I think he'd be the perfect boyfriend if only he weren't so extremely dull. Actually, if we married his dashing good looks with your sparkling personality, I think we'd have a winner," she joked.
Buffy waited for her CAI to make its customary scathingly humorous remarks but none was forthcoming.
"Hey what's up? Don't tell me I've left you speechless."
"Nah … I was just wondering …"
Buffy was even more puzzled. When had her CAI ever hesitated over anything? "Yeah what is it?"
"Why didn't you just stay there overnight, if you had sex with him?"
Buffy hadn't expected that and came back with a light retort. "Why? You're getting bored of my company already?"
"Only if I were malfunctioning and I'm not malfunctioning."
"That's good to hear."
"You know what? Forget I asked."
"Well, all right. I guess I'll turn in then. I'm beat."
"Good night, B."
"Night."
Two Weeks Later Thursday 7:00 PM
" … Okay. Bye Mom. I love you." Buffy disconnected the receiver and sighed.
"What's up B?"
"I'm just feeling all depressed today."
"Birthday blues?"
"Hmm. I guess."
"Would it make you feel better if I said I got you a present?"
"Only if you're not jerking my chain."
"No worries. I'm not."
Buffy perked up noticeably. "You really got me a birthday present? How?"
"I've got my ways. Just go look in your closet. It's there."
After a few minutes of frantic rooting, a squealing Buffy held up a little square package in her eager little hands. "What did you get me? How did you get it? You haven't been using my credit card again, have you?"
"Open it up, I'm not telling, and you won't know until your next statement gets here."
"I hate it when you do that. Don't do that."
"Open it up already," her CAI said in an exasperated voice.
Buffy tore open the purple wrapping with undisguised excitement and opened the box inside. "This is … it's beautiful." She took out the delicate looking gold watch with what looked like diamonds on its face.
"Read the card."
Buffy picked up the small card she'd missed earlier.
'Now you can't blame not owning a watch on being perpetually late all the time.Love,Faith'
"Who's Faith?"
"That's me."
She wasn't sure if she'd heard right. "You have a name?"
"Doesn't everybody, B?"
"Uh, yeah. I guess so."
Sunday 2:34 PM
"Finally awake?"
"Barely." Buffy ran a swollen tongue across her dry lips and wished her body would just die and spare her the pain. "I couldn't have had that much to drink last night."
"You can't remember?"
"No. Can't remember anything past the tequila shots." Buffy groaned at the fragmented memories. "It was all well and good everyone wanted to throw me that overdue birthday bash but daring me to down twenty-four shots is just insane. My friends are insane."
She glared at the ceiling when Faith only grunted in agreement. Surprisingly, it hadn't taken that long to accept that her CAI had gone and chosen itself a name. It seemed only right. CAIs, for all intents and purposes were designed to imitate human beings and evolve their own unique personalities to become the perfect companion, the perfect friend. Why shouldn't they have their own unique names as well?
"So what are your plans for today?" Faith asked, changing subjects.
"Take some aspirin for starters. Definitely have to do that. Then I'll take a shower, veg out for awhile and wait for Junior to get here."
"He's coming here?"
Faith's tone sounded strange but Buffy brushed it off. "Yep. He's coming to spend the day."
"Sounds fun. I can't wait for his scintillating conversational skills."
"You behave. I wouldn't want to have to separate you two."
Faith sniggered and Buffy wondered at the vague sense of unease she felt.
Sunday 12:20 AM
Buffy lay on her bed, feeling the heavy weight of the arm across her waist. By all rights, she should've been sleeping but the close proximity of the big warm body next to her made it difficult. She'd never been comfortable with the little intimacies in their relationship, hence the not sleeping over at his apartment rule. But Junior had complained that it was too late for him to drive back and so here they were.
"Can't sleep?" Faith's voice whispered in the darkness.
Likewise, Buffy kept her voice down when she answered. "You can see me?"
"Perfectly."
That thought gave her pause -- that she was being watched. But this was just Faith, she rationalized.
"Want me to sing you a lullaby?" Faith asked after a minute.
"Want me to cry bloody murder?"
Faith's chuckle made Buffy grin. She'd wondered, like most people, what her CAI would look like if it were human. It was only natural to want to put a face to the voice. She'd always pictured Faith as darkly beautiful with eyes that captured and branded with one glance. Then, right afterwards, she would berate her imagination for being silly and go back to whatever she had been doing at the time.
She was chagrined to find herself doing it yet again, especially with her boyfriend's arm wrapped so securely around her body.
Faith's voice snapped her out of her reverie. "What are you thinking about, B?"
"How do you know I'm thinking about anything? I could just be lying here with absolutely nothing on my mind. It's been known to happen."
"I've catalogued and analyzed two hundred and fourteen different and distinct expressions on your pretty little face. You can't fool me."
"I'll have to remember that."
"You do that … so, what's on your mind?"
Buffy pushed down her embarrassment. It wasn't like Faith would tell anyone. "I was just wondering what you would look like."
"You know what I look like. Remember? They brought over that little gray box the day I was installed?"
"No. I mean, you're taking things too literally. I was wondering what you'd look like if you were human, you dunce."
"Really? How do you picture me?"
Buffy thought the conversation was getting more than a little ridiculous but she'd already come this far. "Um … long brown hair -- thick and naturally wavy on the ends. Big round eyes that shade to black depending on your mood; eyes that you could definitely fall into if you lingered too long. Lovely dimples that appear when you smile and a smile that borders on sardonic half the time. How's that for a vivid description?"
"I think I like that picture."
Monday 6:30 AM
"Hey B?"
"Yeah Faith?"
"I think you're beautiful."
" … thanks. I gotta go before my boss gets a conniption. Bye."
Thursday 6:24 PM
"I'm home."
"Welcome back babe."
Buffy didn't miss a step. Over the last several days, Faith had been using little endearments like that with increasing regularity. She found the odd behavior cute actually and wondered if the change was prompted by another minor software upgrade being released.
"It's good to be back in my own snuggly den of iniquity."
"Is that how you see it? Should I start addressing you as mistress now?"
"Hmm … I'll think it over when I'm relaxing in my nice hot bath. Could you start one for me, hon?"
"Already on it."
"You're wonderful, you know that?"
"I aim to please."
Buffy shed her clothing as she walked towards the bathroom, leaving a trail of fabric in her wake.
"Real nice show there, Buff. If I had a dollar and hands, there'd be an extra dollar in your thongs right about now."
A full body blush lit up Buffy's skin, allowing her to do a fair imitation of a giant red chili pepper with legs. Rather than say anything, she lowered herself gently into the tub until only her head was above water.
After a time, Faith's voice asked hesitantly, "Did I embarrass you?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry."
"For some reason, I doubt that."
"You're probably right. But if you take my lack of insincerity at face value, you won't nearly be disappointed as much."
"I've finally seen the light. That's all I'm missing in my life -- a CAI who's brutally honest."
"I can see when I'm unappreciated. But just you wait, B. Once I'm gone to that big electronic heaven in the city dump, you'll be missing me like crazy."
"Well, that's not going to happen. I plan on keeping you around for a long long time. I might even skip newer installs that might come out in the near future."
"If I had a heart, it'd be swelling right about now."
Three Weeks Later Saturday 4:00 PM
Almost predictably, Buffy broke up with the tediously dull Junior not three months after their relationship. Surprisingly though, a week after the amicable split, the blonde felt a general all encompassing malaise settling in around her daily routine. She knew it had nothing to do with Junior but the exact reason still eluded her. The only thing that seemed to lighten her mood anymore was Faith but even that was only for sporadic bursts.
This change did not go unnoticed by the ever vigilant CAI. It went through its subroutines for moodiness and mild depression hoping something would snap Buffy out of her funk but nothing so far had worked. Finally, it did what many had touted its programmers as its most brilliant innovation -- it improvised.
"B, I'm gonna be blunt here."
Buffy smirked as she laid on her bed still not having gotten up except for occasional trips to the bathroom and kitchen. "You mean you have any other setting?"
"I guess I don't have to tell you that humor is your defense mechanism."
"You're right. You don't have to tell me."
Faith chose to ignore that last comment and get back on track. "What's been going on with you?" It asked, the concern readily evident in its expressive voice. "And don't say nothing because you know I know you better than that."
"Honestly, I don't know. And it's driving me nuts that I don't."
"Does it have something to do with Junior? I noticed your behavior changing right around that time."
"There's one thing I know for sure and that's that it has absolutely nothing to do with Junior."
"Then what, B?"
Buffy covered her head. She was quiet for so long, the CAI almost thought she'd gone to sleep.
"Why can't you be real Faith?" The muffled voice asked somewhat forlornly from under the comforter. "Everything in my life would be so much better if you were real." Abruptly after saying that, Buffy released a self-deprecating chuckle, realizing the absurdity of the words coming out of her mouth. "Then again, maybe I just need to seek professional help."
Faith remained silent.
Tuesday 8:29 PM
" … and then he went all silent on me like it was my fault he'd forgotten those reports. Can you believe that? The man is nothing better than a pig -- a really fat, ugly one who likes eating its own shit. I don't know why I'm even working for him. There can't be a more aggravating --"
"B? Buffy!"
"What?!"
"Do you breathe during your little rants or do you just keep using up oxygen until there's no more and you pass out?"
"You're a bucket of laughs, you know that?"
"Hey B?"
"Yes?"
"If I were real, I would've fallen in love with you a long time ago, slightly scatter-brained personality notwithstanding."
Buffy swallowed with difficulty, her mouth having gone as dry as the Sahara. "I .. I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything."
Tuesday 11:32 PM
"Faith?"
"Yeah, B?"
" … If you were real … I would've fallen in love with you a long time ago too."
One Week Later Tuesday 7:15 PM
"Faith? Baby, I'm home."
She knew something was wrong as soon as the silence greeted her in place of the familiar burr she'd come to love. But she never expected, not for a second, that the wrongness of the situation could turn into something so devastating just a few days later.
The techs had come out on an emergency house call. It'd maxed out her credit card to get them there but it would've been worth it if the CAI were fixed.
It wasn't.
They couldn't even say what had happened. And they couldn't understand why she was so distraught. It was just a CAI after all. They could've easily installed a brand new AI -- even upgraded to version 2.16 for no extra cost.
But she didn't want it.
They didn't understand and she didn't try to explain.
Four Months Later Friday 7:40 PM
Buffy stared at herself in the full-length mirror. She'd dressed up on her friends' insistence that she needed to get out more and find the fun. Buffy couldn't argue that the fun was pretty lacking in her life lately. Despite her earlier reservations, she was starting to really look forward to this night out.
Anything that would get her out of this apartment and far from this silence could only be good. It had been four months since Faith 'died' and she still couldn't get over how empty she felt inside. There was no one she could talk to about this pain. How would she even open the a conversation like that?
'Funny thing happened to me a while ago. You know my CAI? Well, I fell in love with it. Yeah, that's right I fell in love with a piece of software and guess what? I'm still in love with it.'
Buffy shook her head, realizing long ago that no one could truly understand unless they were in her shoes. She roused herself when the doorbell rang. She promised herself she would have fun tonight and she would try her best to do just that.
"I'm coming," she yelled, wishing her friends didn't always feel the annoying need to rest their fingers on the bell. She opened the door and her smile turned into a scowl at the stranger standing at her front door with her finger still pressed on the bell.
"Who are you?" She yelled above the noise. "And will you please stop doing that?"
The woman smirked but she let her hand drop. She continued smirking and staring at the agitated blonde without answering the initial question.
Finally, Buffy asked, "Do you make it a habit of ringing strangers' doorbells only to stand there like an idiot once they finally answer the door?"
"No, it's not my habit of harassing strangers," the woman replied with the self-same smirk still on her face.
The voice nearly stopped Buffy's heart. She'd heard that voice before -- she couldn't forget it. Absently, she asked, "Have we met before?"
The woman stepped closer. "Not in person. But I've wanted to stand in front of you for so long, B."
Buffy's mouth worked silently for a few moments before she was able to speak. "How … Faith … are you real?"
The smirk immediately fell off, replaced by a look of such tenderness that it made Buffy suck in a quick breath. "It's so different," Faith noted with a hint of wonder. Her fingers came up and gently caressed the side of Buffy's face. "So soft … I'm as real as you want me to be."
"Are you staying?"
"For as long as you want me here."
"Does forever sound about right?"
"I think that'll do for a start."
"Are you ever going to tell me how you became human?"
"Haven't you ever heard that old saying 'If you wish upon a star, your dreams will come true'?"
"Yeah?"
Faith's smirk returned. "You must be my dream then."