Disclaimer: Same as in first part

When I went to open the door, I honestly didn't know what more to expect. It'd already been such a shitty night as it was, I really didn't believe it could get any worse. It's the dead of night, a couple hours after Buffy had left and I was still awake, still thinking about what we'd both said. And then the knock had come and I'd wondered what news ever delivered this late could ever be good.

"Max?"

She's standing there in front of the door, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth and I can't believe I'm not dreaming or something. "Max!" I repeat, willing her to be real.

"Faith," she says, kind of smirking at me. That's when I grab her around the waist and pull her towards me, desperate to feel her and make sure she's for real and not some hallucination.

I lose myself in her and if this were a dream, it's pretty damn real. I smell her, I feel her skin against mine, I feel her breath tickling against my neck, I feel the dull ache coming from my ribs at the close contact, and I hear her whispering my name in my ear.

I'm in fucking heaven and I can stand there forever just holding her in my arms but a scuffling sound behind her makes me look up into B's face. She's staring at me with a blank expression on her face, the toe of her boot scuffing at the dirt in front of her. Why was she here?

"I gotta go," she says as soon as our eyes lock. "It's been a long night."

And just like that, she swivels around and walks away. In any other situation, I'd have gone after her, called her back or something but this wasn't any other situation.

"Come on," I say, breaking away from Max for a second. "Let's go in."

She smiles at me and I wonder if this is what it's like to fly. She makes me melt without even trying. She makes me feel like somebody else, someone who actually deserves this kind of happiness and I hope my need doesn't show as nakedly on my face as I feel.

After explaining the whats and hows to each other for the next half hour, Max looks down and asks, "So you were going to come back?"

Moving my hand to rest on the back of her neck, I kiss her on the cheek. "Yeah. I told you I would, didn't I?"

She's still staring down at her lap so I lift her chin up, making sure that I've got her attention.

"What's wrong? Don't you believe me?"

"Yes. Course I do. It's not that, I'm just surprised."

"Why?"

She laughs a little, looking away again. "It's how everything's turning out. It's the ridiculous nature of the whole situation." Tilting her head, she continues with a raised eyebrow, "It's that I fell in love with someone old enough to be my mother."

I hadn't really thought of it like that but I guess she's right. "Then I sure age well, don't I?" Giving her a smirk that matches the one that popped up on her own face, I lean forward, fed up with talking for the night.

My lips brush hers, gently at first just trying to re-familarize myself with her softness but then Max pushes me back onto the couch, raising up on her knees. Her hands slip under my top, fingertips flitting across my bandages, slowly moving over my breasts. Her lips leave mine, trailing soft nips and kisses down my throat. My breath is coming out in short bursts as my hands tangle in her hair, urging her down a bit more. I feel her laugh into the crook of my neck as she comes back up to steal another kiss from me.

"Patience Faith," she murmurs against my lips.

I wake up the next morning, lying half on top of Max with her arms around me. We hadn't really done anything the night before, mostly cause we were in Giles' house and my ex-watcher was sleeping in the next room. I nuzzle into her body, absently wondering when I'd turned into a cuddler. I'd never been with anyone like this before but then I'd never let anyone stick around till the morning before either.

"How ya feeling?" Max's voice floats down, surprising me that she is already awake. It must be early cause the light filtering through the window's still weak.

"Better than yesterday."

"How about the day before that?" I can hear the smile in her voice and I have to look up just to see it with my own eyes.

It takes us awhile but we DO finally get up, just in time to avoid Giles walking in on us. And then I've gotta explain why there's someone else in his apartment---jeez, I gotta get a place of my own. But once he knows who Max is and when she's from, he gets all excited like a little kid who just found a stash of candy. He's interrogating her right now but in that totally polite British way about how she got here. And since I'd already gotten the story a few hours ago, my attention starts spazzing out and I start drifting.

Nothing unusual there, y'know---I always start spacing when I'm bored or when I've got nothing to do for a couple minutes at a time, or when there's too much shit happening around me, or...whenever, really. Growing up, it's always gotten me in trouble but it's just something that happens.

And as my mind hopscotches its way around, I suddenly wonder what B's up to right now. She's probably gotten up by now and I have a powerful urge to see her. At the same time, I want to avoid her too cause of what had happened between us. I still don't know HOW it'd happened. For a minute there last night, it was almost like we were in each other's minds and I know for a fact that she was turned on just like she knows for a fact that I love her.

Our mind meld couldn't come at a worse time---actually, any time would've been a worse time. It's something of a nice kick for my ego to know that I can get her hot but that's just lust on her part. With anyone else that's just fine with me but this is B---it just doesn't feel right. But who am I trying to fool? If she were to own up to her desires, I'd have taken anything I could get. But she didn't, instead, putting everything on me which made me mad and now, I don't know where we stand with each other.

"Faith."

"Yeah, 'sup?" Someone had said my name. I just wasn't sure who.

"Yes, Faith," Giles says clearing his throat. "I think it would be prudent for all of us to conduct a more thorough search of the two sites you two appeared on."

I shrug my shoulders, agreeing even though I'd already done a search of where I'd popped up and found absolutely squat. Maybe Max's site will turn up something.

****

"You've been awfully quiet," Willow observes, throwing me a sideways glance as we walk towards the Magic Box. "Still thinking about Riley?"

Among other things. "Yeah, I just can't believe it's over." I snap my fingers to illustrate the point. "Just like that."

Willow gives me a worried look so I quickly assure her that I WILL be all right. "It'll take a little time to get used to, that's all," I add, hoping to get off the subject.

"How about we do the ice cream and movies night. I bet that'll cheer you up."

"Maybe," I say with a small smile. "That sounds almost nice."

"Great! Then tonight it is. We'll get everybody together---Xander, Tara, even Anya."

With a slight bit of hesitation, I ask, "How about Faith?"

"I thought you said her girlfriend from the future just dropped in. Knowing Faith, they'll be too busy doing other things to come...even if they were invited."

I wince, glad that she didn't catch it. "I thought we agreed you'd try to be nicer to her."

"Hey, I got the cops off her tail---that's way nice, isn't it?"

I couldn't disagree with that but I wish the two of them could be on friendlier terms anyway. But I guess she's probably right about Faith having better things to do. The thought of what those things could be twisted my stomach into knots. I couldn't sleep half the night because of that and I spent the other half of the night wondering why it was agitating me so much. Why should I care if Faith is---and they're---

"Damnit."

"Did you say something?" Willows asks, looking over at me.

Did I say that out loud? Damnit again. "No, nothing." I start walking faster, hoping to outrun those thoughts or at least gain a little distance on them.

Willow hurries to catch up until we're almost going at a dead run down the street. When we stop in front of the shop, she's five steps behind me and nearly out of breath but has enough left over to tell me off. "Next time you decide to do spontaneous exercise, let me know so I can not be here."

"Sorry," I apologize, walking though the door. "Guess I just had some excess energy to burn off."

She still looks pretty miffed following me in but that immediately changes to genuine irritation as soon as we step through the door. It surprises me for a second until I realize who's sitting on the counter. Faith glances over as soon as the door closes, quirking an eyebrow when she sees it's us.

Anya pops up from behind the counter. "Oh, it's you guys," she says, clearly disappointed. "Thought it might be actual customers." With that so very ex-demon greeting, she goes about restocking the shelves or whatever it is she's doing without any further acknowledgment that we're still there.

Faith still hasn't moved from her position on the counter, arms wrapped around an upraised knee, head canted to the side so she can see us from the corner of her eye.

"What's up?" I ask, walking up to her and hoping the question sounds neutral enough.

Faith finally moves, swinging her legs down so they're dangling over the front of the counter. "You mean why am I here, don't you B?" She asks with an inscrutable expression.

Willows walks up next to me. "I'd like to know too," she states, arms crossed over her chest.

Suddenly jumping down in front of us and making Will suck in a quick breath, Faith smiles before leaning back. "Got bored," she drawls, eyes still trained on me and me alone.

Regaining most of her composure, it was Willow who spoke first. "You think you can vague that up some more cause that explanation's way too chock full of meandering digressions."

Faith's only answer is to keep smiling and I know she knows it's irritating as hell, especially when aimed at someone who's annoyed already. But she seems to take special pleasure in irking Willow.

Trying to diffuse the situation, I ask, "Where's Giles?"

"Probably crawling on some dirt right about now." At our confused stares, she decides to elaborate. "He and Max are looking over the site where she dropped in, hoping to find---I don't know...something."

"And you're not with them?"

Faith shrugs at Willow's pointed question but chooses not to say anything more.

"You wanna train?" I ask suddenly, pointing to the back. Not only do I want to spar with her, I also want to talk about what had happened...again. I couldn't say the last talk we had got us anywhere fast but maybe I'll get some answers now. I'm still not quite sure what the questions are though. That'll definitely make things harder.

"You didn't really ask me in here to train, did you B?" She asks once we're alone. Any mirth she'd shown in the front of the shop is gone.

"It's not the only reason."

"Let me guess---you wanna talk." There's the smallest glimmer of disgust showing through her face.

"And I'm guessing you don't," I say, leaning back against the side of the pommel horse.

"If it's that obvious..."She leaves the rest of her sentence unsaid as she saunters up to stand in front of me.

"Yeah." My eyes stare somewhere over her right shoulder because her gaze is making me lose my train of thought. "I keep thinking about what happened last night--"

"Why can't you look at me?" She interrupts which immediately causes my eyes to track back to hers. She steps even closer, placing a hand on either side of the horse behind me. I feel my cheeks starting to burn as she continues looking at---looking into me.

"Let's spar," she finally says, breaking away with a start. I try to bring my breathing under control, not even aware until then that I'd been holding my breath.

****

I'd spent all day with my nose pointed to the ground, trying to find something a little less ordinary from among the dirt and grass. But at least Faith and Giles were with me doing the exact same thing. But then, Faith had bailed.

And her lame excuse?

She was bored.

Well, I'm bored and I still spend the next few hours crawling around and getting my pants dirty.

We finally gave it a rest and called it a day a little while ago and now we're heading towards Giles' store. The guy sells magic supplies. I'll be scratching my head over this one for awhile but then I'd been scratching my head over vampires and time travel before I saw and experienced them first hand.

Who am I to scoff anyway? I'm a genetically engineered freak---not many people would believe in that either unless they saw me jump eight feet in the air without a running start.

I stare out the side window of Giles' little red cherry of a car just taking in everything. It's not all that different from my world really. People living out their lives the best way they can given everything they have working against them. The only difference is that everything seems too at ease with itself, like it's reveling in its own complacency. Well, that'll all change, won't it?

Giles eventually pulls to a jarring stop in front of his shop. The guy's driving skills could use some work cause even I feel a little queasy after that ride. Following him in, I notice there's a Closed sign hanging in front of the window but there're still a couple of people inside. Two girls and a guy---don't know any of 'em.

"Everybody, this is Max," Giles announces to the group. "Max, this is Xander, Anya, and Willow."

The names don't mean a thing to me...Faith's not too forthcoming about her friends or her past but by the look on the redhead's face when she hears who I am, they probably weren't friends to begin with. The other two at least smile at me.

"Hey Giles," the guy, Xander says with a goofy grin. "Playing hooky already?"

"No," he says, gracefully letting the comment slide. "We were actually searching for a mystical portal the entire day."

"Wow...and wow again. Sounds fun." He glances over at me with a renewed interest. "Did you find it?"

"Not yet," I jump in before Giles can say anything. "But it's only a matter of time, right G?"

"Yes, of course," he nods, moving behind the counter.

Deciding on a change of subjects to one closer to my heart, I ask "Anyone know where Faith is?"

Xander's expression immediately darkens. I guess he's the type who wears his emotions on the outside. "What do you want with her?"

Alot of things that I won't share with you. "Just wanna say hi."

"She's in the back room with Buffy," Anya cuts in smoothly.

"Thanks."

I'm already moving there when Xander helpfully adds, "You might not want to go in there just yet. They're training. You might get hurt."

"I think I can handle myself but thanks for the concern anyway."

As I get closer to the door, I can hear muted grunts of exertion through the wood and I'm almost hesitant to see what they're up to. What am I afraid of?

That question is made ludicrously clear when I push open the door to the scene playing out inside. For some reason, Faith is lying flat on her back on the ground, her hands pinned above her head with Buffy nearly lying on top of her. Is this what they call training?

"You wanna get off my girlfriend now?"

They both look over at my sudden interruption. Blondie jumps up like she's just been bitten but Faith looks like she's amused. Let's see if she still looks that way after I get through with her...first the desertion and now this.

"Max, did you have fun?" There's not a bit of remorse in Faith's eyes as she gets up and walks over to me to lay a kiss soundly on my mouth. Nor is there any when she leads me out, an arm wrapped around my waist and a smile on her face.

Giles was just starting to explain what he and I had been doing the entire day and why. By the end of it, I was getting weird looks from everyone. You'd think with demons and vampires stalking their streets, they wouldn't find me THAT strange.

"...and so," Giles concludes, wiping an imaginary piece of lint from his sweater, "even though we didn't find anything of import today, it might be that this time abnormality only appears at completely arbitrary intervals...we can do another search tomorrow."

Is it just me or did he look directly at me when he said that? I guess I've been volunteered again.

"Hold on, hold on." Xander is holding his hands up just to reinforce his point. A mass of confusion skips across his face as he asks, "How did--what the--" Taking a deep breath he starts over again. "Why did these 'abnormalities' appear all of a sudden and why did it only affect them?"

Everybody kinda shrugs.

"Maybe," Giles guesses, "It's because they each have some special capability that sets them apart which allows them in some way to trigger the phenomenon. We may never know but the important thing now isn't to understand why but to find the blasted thing."

We all agree on that---it's not like we have any alternate game plan here. So after that's set, Willow mentions something about a movie night, whatever that means and I decide it's about time for Faith to pay up.

"You don't mind if Faith and I attend this event, do you? She's been telling me how much she'd love to catch up with you all." I can feel Faith's arm tighten almost painfully from its place around my waist but I continue smiling despite her urgent nonverbal protest. In fact, there's not one person that looks pleased by my request.

"You sure you want to?" Xander asks for the group. "I mean, it's probably going to be boring...we don't want you to be bored."

Waving a hand to dismiss his concern, I add, "Don't worry about it. I'm sure it'll be fine and Faith will definitely love it, right baby?"

Faith moves her mouth next to my ear and whispers through a stilted smile, "I'm going to kill you."

Whispering back, I shake my head. "You love me too much sweetcheeks."

****

Faith's just leaning back on the kitchen counter, arms and legs crossed at the ankles, waiting for me to start explaining how I suddenly "acquired" a kid sister.

"It's complicated," I start off.

"I kinda counted on that when we were introduced, B. What's going on? She acts like she knows me and that I'm supposed to know her. Last time I checked, I've never met her in my life and you're an only child."

"That's all true." I hadn't thought about what would happen when Faith and Dawn came into contact. I'd just assumed she'd be under the same spell everybody else was under and not question Dawn's presence. Unfortunately, it seems she has none of our manufactured memories. "I know all this seems strange and creepy but I need you to act the part for now. Dawn is my sister. Accept it okay? And I promise I'll explain everything to you later."

"All right," she answers slowly. "But just so I know, does anyone else know this scene is wacked?"

"Giles."

"Great. As if this night isn't fucking me up enough, now I gotta play make-believe."

Faith walks over to the fridge, rummaging through it for a couple cans of soda and artificially sweetened grape juice while I pour the popcorn into a large bowl. We're silent as we go about our tasks. I'm not sure what she's thinking about right now but all I can think about is her and what happened during our training session earlier. If Max hadn't come in when she did...

We'd been training pretty hard, even for what we were used to. I had the slight upperhand because I'd never stopped fighting against the vampires and demons that always seem to pop up in Sunnydale. But I also wasn't used to full out training sessions with someone of Faith's caliber...at least not for awhile.

I had somehow gotten the drop on Faith, sweeping her legs out from under her and, of course, I'd taken advantage. Straddling her waist and trapping her hands above her head, I smiled down at her, thinking I'd won. But when I DID look down, all I saw were her eyes and her lips and I wanted nothing more then to lean forward. Whatever else happened, I wanted to shed my inhibitions if only for that instant and do what seemed so natural.

Then Max had come in and told me to get off her girlfriend. And I realized that, yeah, Faith is her girlfriend. And when she got up like nothing had happened between us just then, I felt like I'd lost something I didn't even know I had to begin with.

And now I have to finally admit to myself that not only am I attracted to Faith---a revelation in and of itself---but I also have crushy feelings towards her. Next thing you know, I'll be serenading her from a balcony with a mariachi band as my back up...I don't even know where that thought came from.

Loading up the snacky foods and refreshments, we walk back into the living room where everybody else had already gathered.

Anya is sitting in between Xander's legs on the floor with his arms wrapped around her, listening intently to something he's saying. Willow sat with Tara and you could just tell they really wanted to be cuddling from the intense looks they kept sneaking each other. I don't know why they just didn't do it. It's not like anybody here would mind.

After Faith laid out the cans and cups around the coffee table, she snagged two of them and headed straight over to where Max sat on the recliner. Max got up from her seat only to sit back down a few seconds later on Faith's lap. Her arms wrapped around Faith's neck as she said something into her ear which made Faith chuckle.

I couldn't help but frown at the display. Not only did I want to be the one to make Faith chuckle, I also had nobody to sit next to but Dawn. If this night was intended to make me feel better, it's off to a lousy start.

The popcorn got snatched from my hands by my impatient little sister who stuck out her tongue at me when I gave her an irritated look. Oh, the joys of being a sibling. Flopping down on the cushion next to her, I grab a handful of popcorn, popping them into my mouth two and three kernels at a time. At a time like this, food's about the only salve.

Some cheesy action/adventure movie is playing on the TV...oh wait, I recognize this. Predator. Not too bad actually. Nice gore to fun ratio. My night might not be as bad as it could've been but---it's still bad. The tension in the room is muted but still there lurking in the background like a mustachioed villain, just waiting to tie the helpless heroine to the railroad tracks.

My mind is so splintered that even my similes are starting to sound forced. Before I can get up and call a bathroom break, Dawn speaks up, "Oh, that is SO gross!"

The television is showing the bloody entrail strewn remains of one of the victims. My immediate instinct is to cover her eyes with my hand which elicits a groan.

"Buffy! I'm not a little kid anymore. You can't keep covering my eyes when the good stuff comes on."

"That scene IS a little R-rated," Xander pipes up in my defense.

"Oh, come on B. What's the big? It's just red paint thrown on a few sausages. I'm sure the kid's seen worse."

That's Faith of course. Always sticking up for Dawn's God-given right to witness movie gore. And then I remember that those other times never actually happened and Faith doesn't have those memories. It's strange to know that what you know isn't what you know, y'know?

That was just WAY too confusing.

"See?" Dawn triumphantly exclaims, removing my hand. "Faith says it's all right."

And that's the other thing. Dawn holds Faith up on a pedestal. When I asked her about it that one time, she'd said that was cause Faith's cool and kickass---like I'm not cool and kickass, right?

Faith returns the smile Dawn is beaming at her and I know any control I had has just been chucked out the window. Everybody else is conveniently looking the other way, not wanting to get into the discussion as Faith beams another smile---at me this time. My stomach does a little flip flop before I train my eyes back to the TV screen. Any longer exposure would probably see me drooling on myself, the way I'm feeling.

And how am I feeling? I'm feeling like an adolescent teen mooning over the star quarterback and I'm not exactly sure how it got to this stage. Just last night, I was sure there was nothing between us aside from friendship---at least from my side. Then Max had turned up on my doorstep asking me to take her to Faith and seeing them together---imagining them together made something inside me snap.

I was an idiot to push Faith away after she told me how she felt because deep down inside, buried under a river of denial, I felt the same way. How could I have not realized it till now? I'm starting to resemble Sunnydale's residents when it comes to turning a blind eye to what's right in front of them. It's tearing me up inside to see them so happy. And they're happy because they're together. How can I begrudge them that? In truth I can't...but I want to. After all, as junior high as it might sound, Faith liked me first.

****

"So give me the dish B. What's going on around here?" I just sat through a movie with people that could barely tolerate me to begin with and the only reason I stuck it through was cause of Max. I think half the reason she was sitting on my lap was to stop me from running.

Actually, the whole shebang wasn't all THAT bad. I could almost imagine that it was old times again. But now, everybody's gone home 'cept for B and me who are standing on her front porch.

"Well, as you might have noticed," she begins, "I've got a new kid sister."

"The girl sitting next to you, right?" I ask sarcastically.

"Yeah. Dawn's this...gateway made flesh sent to me so I can protect her from the 'Abomination'."

At my 'you're shitting me look', she gets defensive. "It sounds unreal, I know but the Monk who sent her wasn't too clear on this stuff before he died. All I know is that I've got to protect Dawn because she's an innocent in all this. She doesn't know she's anything but my little sister---she doesn't know that, until a couple weeks ago, she wasn't even human. And I intend to keep it that way."

"Okay." I can accept this. It wasn't THAT strange. "So what's with the 'Abomination'? Sounds like some cheap B-movie horror monster."

B starts laughing. "No, more like some vamped out psycho chick with multiple personality disorder and a penchant for tossing slayers around like rag dolls."

"You threw down with her?"

"And I've still got the bruises to show for it. I only got away last time cause the whole building conveniently fell down on her."

"Sounds like you could use my help B."

"I'll take anything I can get Faith."

We stand there in silence for a moment. I guess we're both kinda uncertain about what to say next now that the shop talk's concluded.

What the hell.

I smile at her for no reason at all just so I can see her smiling back at me. That smile always seems to make me feel like everything's gonna turn out all right. Plus, she looks even more beautiful then. That smile's haunted my dreams for so long and I've always woken up wishing that I could someday see it aimed at me again. I'd never thought it would happen---I mean, come on. Look at all the shit that we've done to each other. But now, I'm seeing it for real. And it's not a dream. It just feels like one.

"It's 'bout time for me to get back," I say, looking away and immediately picturing Max.

"Wait," Buffy says, reaching out to stop me from backing off. "At training today, what did you see in my eyes?"

"What?" I knew what she was talking about. I just wasn't sure I wanted to be talking about it.

"When I was...lying on top of you." I think I see her ears starting to get red. "Right before Max walked in. What did you see in my eyes?"

My breathing starts coming faster as she keeps looking at me, her hand finding my own and holding it tightly. "What does it matter what I saw?" It comes out harsher than I'd intended but I'll ride with it.

"It DOES matter. I need you to tell me Faith."

And that was it really. She needs me to do something---I have to do it. "I saw...I saw recognition," I say, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Like you'd finally found the thing you'd been looking for and it wasn't strange or new but familiar. Am I way off?"

"No, you're right on." She breathes that more than says it and steps closer to me. Her hands circle slowly around my waist, pulling me in and I close my eyes cause it's too real for me to watch. Her head comes to rest on my shoulder and her arms tighten around my body. This was everything I'd ever wanted.

This WAS everything I'd ever wanted.

"I can't do this." I push her away before I can change my mind. My eyes are now open but I still can't look at her. "Why are you pulling this now? I'm with someone else and I'm happy B. Why are you trying to screw with that?"

"I'm not," she brokenly whispers, turning my head so I have to look at her.

"What do you call this then?"

"I love you Faith." The words come out of the blue, tripping me up with the fact that B actually said them.

"Don't say that. Don't you FUCKING say that. Not now."

"You know it's true." She just can't leave it alone. "You knew it was true before I even knew it."

"So what? Just because you say you love me, I'm now supposed to come crawling back to you and forget that I've already got someone? Do you just want me to dump Max?"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"But that's what you want, right? YOU want to be the center. YOU want to keep leading me around by the nose. Well, here's a newsflash for you. I love her." The tears in her eyes almost make me want to stop. "I love her and when she finds a way back home, I'm going with her! Do you understand that?! Do you hear me?!" Somewhere along the way, I'd started yelling and when Buffy wipes a hand across my face, I realize I'm fucking crying too. It seems I'm loaded with tears these days.

And when she closes the distance between us again, pulling my head down to give me the most loving kiss, my hands pull her in tighter because no matter what I'd just said, we both know that I love her. It's just that things have become more complicated now.

****

I spent most of last night wondering how things could've possibly turned out like they did.

A month ago, I had been in a steady relationship with a nice guy and even though I wasn't madly in love with him, I still loved him. Now, we're broken up and our relationship or what's left of it is spent actively avoiding each other.

A couple of months before that, my body was stolen by a girl I'd stabbed and put in a coma. Now, I'd just told that girl I love her and spent several intense minutes kissing her to prove the point.

We left each other with things left hanging in the air. After everything that had happened, Faith still chose to go back to Max. It hurt, yes, but I guess I couldn't really expect her to stay with me just like that. I wanted her to. I just couldn't expect her to.

"I have to sort things out on my own," she'd said.

Now, it's the next day and I wonder if it's too soon for her to have sorted everything out yet. Above all, I wonder if she's told Max yet. That's what I'm still thinking as I walk into Giles' shop bearing sugared treats. Tossing the bag at Xander who's seated at the circular table, already loaded down with tomes of old and heavy books...just the way I hate them.

"Dibs on the jelly,:" he immediately says, digging through the bag.

"Any progress on the research front?" I ask, laying out my jacket on top of the counter.

Giles immediately takes it and goes to hang it on the coat hanger. "Not yet," he answers before turning back around. "But we plan on doing another search of the fields later on today. You wouldn't be interested in doing something like that would you Buffy?"

"You're right. I wouldn't be but I'll put aside my dislike for crawling around on the dirt and sacrifice my knees and dignity for the team."

"You give far too much," Giles mutters, grabbing a doughnut for himself.

Giving him a wry smile, I sit down next to Xander at the table, preparing to spend the rest of my Saturday morning trolling through ancient texts and obscure references. Whatever happened to staying home all morning and watching cartoons?

The door opened just then as Faith and Max walk in, hand in hand. My heart thumps a little faster at seeing Faith but it drops just as fast when I take in how comfortable and close they look together. Aside from the casual glance she gives me when she first comes in, she doesn't even look at me. It's like I'm not even in the room. So I guess she DID sort things out.

"What's up guys?" Faith asks, draping herself languidly on the chair across from Xander. She fingers one of the books distastefully as Max stands behind her.

"Oh, you know the routine Faith. Grab a book and dig in." Xander seems to have warmed up considerably towards her. In times of crisis, I guess we all bond in our own special ways.

"Uh, Faith?" It'd only been two minutes and I couldn't stand it anymore. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

She taps her fingers on the tabletop for a few beats before finally looking at me and answering. "Yeah, sure."

I lead her to the training room and start speaking before she even finishes closing the door. "Faith, what's going on? The minute you walked through the door, you couldn't even look at me. Have you decided? Is that it? And now you're just going to avoid me and--"

"If I wanted to avoid you," she interrupts, wearily leaning against the door, "I wouldn't be in here with you right now."

"But you didn't say anything to her," I guessed.

"I couldn't," she quietly mumbles, straightening up. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to say. I love her B--shit, I'm IN love with her and she's been nothing but good to me."

"As opposed to me right?"

"Did I fucking say that? No, cause you know how I fucking feel about you."

Did I?

"I haven't been looking at you," she continues, "cause I wouldn't be able to hide what I'm feeling if I do. So let me just deal with everything I gotta deal with first, okay?" She kisses me briefly to take the harsh sting from the words before walking out the door. That turned out to be a really brief conversation.

****

Faith had been gone for only a few minutes and I was already starting to twitch. It wasn't only that she's gone but the fact that she's gone to the back with Buffy that makes me want to take a bat to something. I knew something was wrong last night--the minute Faith came back. She hadn't said anything even when I asked. All she wanted to do was hold me. She held me all night. And even though that sounds romantic which, in part it was, I couldn't help but ask myself, why.

Faith might have come a long way in the cuddling department but she's not THAT needy. There's definitely something going down that she's not letting me in on. Some people might label me paranoid for garnering suspicions about why my girlfriend held me all night long. They'd be right. But I see it more like watching my back.

The door opens as Faith walks back in from the training room. If you weren't already looking for it, you wouldn't have caught the hitch in her step when her eyes fall on me...but I WAS looking for it. Whatever it is she's not telling me, I'm betting it has something to do with the blonde bringing up her rear.

****

I walk towards Max whose eyes are focused on something behind me. She probably already suspects something's going on by the way I acted last night so why can't I just come clean with her and tell her everything?

It's cause I'm too fucking scared to make a decision.

There.

I admit it.

I can't choose. The thought of hurting either one of them makes me sick. But if you think about it, I'm already hurting both of them. I'm lying to one and I'm stringing along the other. How did things get this fucked up?

I give a weak ass smile to Max who's still staring behind me. But there's nothing behind me 'cept B.

"Holy cow. What is THAT?!?" Xander suddenly shouts, getting everybody's attention. He's swiveled around in his chair, staring at the wall behind him.

There's a hole in the damn wall. We're not talking about small either. The sucker's about a foot across. And last time I checked, it wasn't there before.

****

"Wait!" I say rushing up from behind Faith. "Don't look into it!"

"You thinking what I'm thinking B?" Faith asks, quirking an eyebrow at me.

"A portal," Giles says, coming from behind the counter. "It must have locked on to you three somehow."

"Great." Max gets up and walks to Faith, taking her hand. "That means we don't have to look for it. Come on baby, let's get going."

"No." This can't be happening. It's going too fast. "Faith."

She's not even looking at me. She's not looking at anyone. I take her free hand, ignoring Max's glare and the puzzled looks from Giles and Xander. I wasn't sure what I'd do when this moment came but it's clear to me now.

I'm not letting go.

****

"Faith, let's go," Max says again, pulling me a few steps closer to the hole.

B's tugging on my other hand and this thing's dissolved into some kinda sick game of tug of war. I just wish I knew which side I'm on. This is not the way I wanted things to turn out but then, I didn't know how I wanted them to turn out in the first place.

I want to go with Max cause I love her.

I want to stay with B cause I love her.

I have to make a choice.

I have to make a decision.

How the fuck am I supposed to choose?

****

It's been two days now and we're still tiptoeing around each other.

Faith chose me.

Yeah, that's right she chose me.

It's just that sometimes, she looks like she doesn't want to be here. Like she wished she'd chosen differently. I haven't asked her about it yet---I guess maybe I'm scared of what she'll say. It's like there's this space between us that's getting wider the more we try to ignore it.

But, like I said, it's only been two days---too soon to worry.

Right?

The End