Title: I Dream
Author: Lowdeen
Disclaimer: The characters and show all belong to Joss Whedon, Fox, and Mutant Enemy. The story contains love between two women, so if such things offend you, don't read it and upset yourself.
Author's Notes: Just something I wrote.
Rating: R

Some nights I dream.

Some nights I dream of Faith.

It always starts out the same way and it always ends the same way. It gets to the point where I yell at myself to do something different, to make *her* do something different. Anything so I didn't have to watch the same scene playing out again in my head. Anything so I don't have to see how happy we actually were. We never change what we do or what we say because that's fate, that's the whole destiny deal. We were born to love each other and kill each other and there's nothing in between but the sex.

Her lips on mine, tugging and pulling, tasting so sweet that I moan when she moves away. She laughs that throaty, sexy, smoky laugh and I know she's going to play with me tonight, play with me until I scream her name and beg for release. And I know she's still going to wait that extra minute before she pushes me over the edge cause this is a game and we've played it before. We know the rules by heart

It's her sweat I love the most. Her sweat that rolls off her body in tiny drops and mingles with my own, falling like decrepit rain onto my body. Her sweat that lets me know she's still there and she's with me and we're fucking each other's brains out. Her sweat that cools the heat enveloping us, overwhelming us, and filling that motel room like a hot, sticky summer's night.

And when I think I can't take it anymore, she takes pity on me---pity, not mercy. There's a difference. But I can't think about that at the moment. I can't think about anything cause my mind's shattered and my body's shaking and there are tears rolling from my eyes. Even though I see this from a distance like an outsider peeping in on some private, illicit moment, some part of me still responds. I hate that part of me.

"Let yourself out," she says to the other me. Then I realize she's talking right to me and there is no other. Just us. I want to ask why. I want to shake her and hit her. Just so I can forget she said that. But I can't because this is our destiny and it's a game we're playing.

When I wake up from these nights, I wonder when the time will come. I wonder if we'll fuck one last time before we kill each other. I wonder then if I'll stop having these dreams.

My dreams of Faith.