Title: School Daze
Author: Lowdeen
Disclaimer: All original characters belong to me. Faith, Buffy, Joyce and the show all belong to Joss Whedon, Fox, and Mutant Enemy. The story contains implied love between two women, so if such things offend you, don't read it and upset yourself.
Spoilers: None
Author's Notes: Alternate universe set up. Life before Sunnydale. Names remain unchanged. Events don't.
Rating: R

The little girl watched as the man she knew as daddy bled.

She thought it wasn't real. It couldn't be real. It was just like the TV shows cause mommy had said everything on TV shows were made up.

That's why she didn't cry when daddy hit the floor. It wasn't real.

The blood wasn't real. The sounds. The people. Her daddy crying. Her daddy never cried. It couldn't be real.

The dream didn't fade so much as stop midstride as I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart hammering in my chest, and a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't a little girl anymore. Mommy didn't rush in and tell me it was all a dream and that it wasn't real. Mommy was dead, just like daddy. But that didn't stop the dream from coming back again and again. Rolling over onto my stomach, I reached for the little travel alarm clock on the floor next to the bed. It read seven but I didn't know if that was late or early in this place. My brand new foster parents hadn't said anything last night, only that today would be my first day at the new school. That was it. They weren't much into talking or laughing or much of anything else that showed they were still human and fully functioning in the emotion department.

I sat up in bed, running a hand through my hair. It wasn't like I could get back to sleep anyway. Not after that. My eyes wandered across the small room. Besides the bed, there wasn't much else. There was a small dresser drawer on the opposite wall with a mirror hanging above it and the door was to the right. The painted white walls had no decoration, no pictures hanging, no marks left over from the other people that must've used this room. It'd probably stay that way after I left here too and someone else would be wondering the same thing about me.

I walked over to the foot of the bed where I'd dumped the duffel bag which held all the clothes and other shit I'd collected through my short life. It wasn't a very varied wardrobe. Mostly just simple tops and pants --- leather, jeans, whatever. As long as it was tight. That was the only requirement. For today, I chose whatever was nearest the top of the pile because I didn't feel like rooting through everything. The first day of school didn't really hold any real meaning for me. It had been the first day for a long time now.

After a shower and a change, I went downstairs to find that breakfast had already begun without me.

"Fifteen minutes," Doris said. Her eyes never left the paper she was reading. She was a thin woman who looked a lot thinner because she was tall too. Her hair was colored a terrible black which screamed bad dye job and it was pulled back into a tight ponytail that looked like it should hurt. Her husband was so plain and white bread that I'd have trouble picking him out of a line up even though he's sitting right across from me at the table.

There were two pancakes left in the skillet and I guessed they were for me. Aside from the noises of people eating and reading, there were no other sounds coming from the table. I wished they'd turn on the TV or the radio or something just for a little background noise cause this was just creepy. As soon as the fifteen minute mark came, Doris got up and motioned for me to do the same. Her husband continued eating and reading as she took the keys to the minivan and made her way to the garage. The ride over was just an extenuation of breakfast. Ten minutes later, we stopped outside of the school and I breathed a silent sigh as I opened the door and took a step out.

"You remember the way back?" Doris pointedly asked, looking at me with those shrewd eyes.

I nodded and closed the door. If I knew the way back, my brain was keeping it a big secret from the rest of me but it was better than admitting that I didn't know jack in front of a woman who so obviously didn't want to drive me back. I looked around the place as Doris drove off. It was just like any other school. You could spot the different cliques right away. The freaks, the geeks, the jocks, the queens --- all primping and posing in one way or another. I began walking towards the front entrance but stopped halfway as something caught my eye. Not something actually but someone.

Blonde, petite, laughing, surrounded by the beautiful people. She was just like a hundred other girls I'd seen but...different somehow. Maybe it was her eyes. They looked sad even as another laugh bubbled out of her mouth. One of the Barbie clones next to her whispered something into her ear and they both laughed as they looked right at me. The rest of the group followed their gaze. One of them opened their mouth and said just loud enough for me to hear, "You don't want to look directly at them. They might take it as a sign to talk to you." Everybody twittered and giggled like parrots, imitating each other before they all walked into the school like those packs of animals you see on nature shows who seem to think and move with one brain.

I only had to stop and ask for directions once before finding my way to the Principal's office. I got tossed a program and the name of a Guidance Counselor I was supposed to be meeting from the secretary before being sent on my merry way. That was probably the least painful experience I'd ever had with that office. The first class listed on the program was on the fifth floor. Social History. Sounded like barrels of fun. Everybody was already seated by the time I walked in and I could hear the whispers flying back and forth already as I explained that I was new to the teacher. I'd done this so many times before and it still sucked each and every time to be studied like some kind of new specimen or an accident on the side of the road.

"Faith Spencer," he said, reading my name off the card. "It's kind of late in the term to be arriving but..." Yeah, as if bitching to me about it will change anything. He finally pointed to an empty seat near the back of the class.

As I sat down, he began to launch into his lesson. It was obvious the guy was just talking by rote. His voice was so monotonous that it sounded like he was reading out of a book that wasn't very interesting to begin with. Reaching into a back pocket, I produced a torn out piece of notebook paper. I reached into my front pocket and came out with a pencil whose tip had broken off. This was just great. Now I can't even doodle to pass the time. As I was staring at the pencil, almost willing it to magically fix itself, someone nudged me gently on the left arm. When I looked up, the blonde from earlier was looking at me and holding out a pen. I took it after hesitating a moment and muttered a "Thanks." Fifteen minutes before, this same girl was laughing at me with her cronies and now she's doing something decent just because? I *knew* she was different.

I listened with half an ear as the teacher kept talking and writing on the board. This stuff had already been covered in the last two schools I'd been to and I remembered it was boring anyway. Writing with the pen, I noticed that it had purple ink. Figures.

I was nearly asleep when the class finally ended. As it was, I just let rip a big yawn and noticed I wasn't the only one. The blonde who was just then getting up, looked over at me and gave me a smirk. So we were just enjoying this Hallmark Card 'I share the pain' moment when I remembered her pen and shoved it at her. Not the smoothest thing I'd ever done but my brain was still on break.

She just shrugged and said, "Keep it," before gathering her cute, little spiral notebook and moving towards the door.

The next class on the program was Chemistry and as if finding the classroom wasn't hard enough, it was also a lab class which meant that everybody in the room was already paired up with a partner. I tried to look like I didn't care when I got dumped on one of those pairs and the two of them looked at me like I had personally wanted to ruin their whole morning. What did I care if they hated me already and it was only 9:15? Tough. I brought out the scrap of notebook paper, already half-filled with mindless drawings and the pen with the purple ink and made myself comfortable on one of those metal stools with no backs, waiting for the clock to tick the minutes away.

Lunch came and went but I didn't even make it to the cafeteria. What was the point when you had no money? To watch other people eat? No fucking thanks. I took the time to go see the Guidance Counselor who was a tall, balding man with square framed glasses. He hooked me up with a locker, books, and a 'welcome to this great school' speech. Nice enough guy as far as counselors were concerned but it looked like the last time he went shopping was about twenty years ago.

The day was more than half over and I congratulated myself since there were no major incidents yet. Of course, I hadn't had gym yet either. This was one of those schools where it was mandatory for you to change into these crappy T-shirts and shorts with what I'm guessing is the the school's logo plastered all over it. And since I had neither, I was banished to the sidelines with everybody else who either couldn't or wouldn't participate. We were four girls altogether, sitting and watching as forty other girls ran around the oval track. Some were huffing and puffing like they had asthma. Some weren't even running so much as walking and bitching about having to run.

"Your name's Faith?"

The question came from the girl sitting next to me. "Yeah, how'd you know?" She was short, a bit on the chunky side, too much make-up trying to hide the cuteness underneath. Her hair was two shades short of being rainbow and looked like it was cut with a hacksaw.

"Same math class."

"Yeah?" Math class? There was a vague memory of a math class.

"Yeah, name's Casey by the way." She looked over at all the girls running the track and blew out a disgusted breath. "Physical education is just another act of sadism forced upon us by an older generation grown fat and hypocritical from the capitalist trough."

I just looked at her, wondering if she was serious or just seriously doped up.

"I'm serious," she said as if reading my mind. And then changing topic all of a sudden, she asked, "So where are you from?"

"All over the place."

She nodded her head in understanding. "Yeah, I know how that is. My dad used to move us at a drop of a hat. I've been from the east coast to the west coast to the Midwest. I've only been here for like a couple of months but it's all right. You just have to know who to hang with."

Different places. Different faces. It didn't matter where I was cause I always ended up hanging with the same types of people. And it wasn't like I went about looking for them. They were like Casey. They just seemed to find me.

"Are you doing anything after this class?" She asked, resting her chin in the palm of her hand and looking at me curiously.

"One more class."

"You wanna ditch it?"

"Yeah, I ran out of paper two classes ago anyway."

She laughed a little too hard, a little too long. But she had a nice smile. "Yeah, you'll definitely fit right in," she said with a grin.

When everybody was red, sweating, and 'bout ready to drop, they finally dismissed the class but not before reminding us that tomorrow was volleyball day. While the rest of the class headed towards the showers, Casey took me by the elbow and walked towards a large squat building off the track. Turned out it was a full sized basketball court, complete with pull out bleacher seats. There were already two guys in there. One of them seated on the bleachers and the other throwing up brick shots.

Casey went right up and sat next to one of them. "Hey, Daniel, T, this is Faith," she said, introducing me. "She's new."

Daniel was the one sitting. He had short, spikey blond hair and piercings on his ears, nose, eyebrows, and I'm betting his tongue too. He gave me a short nod and a once over before giving a soft, "Hey."

T was the one chucking up the ball with an almost embarrassing lack of athletic skill. It either hit the backboard with a loud thud or clanged off the front of the rim. His shaggy, black hair was plastered to his face with sweat and he gave me a goofy grin as he came over. "Hi, can you believe I've only just started playing today?"

Casey rolled her eyes and stage whispered, "Don't believe him. He's just naturally bad."

"Hey," T said with a wounded expression. "Can't a guy *try* to make a good impression without comments from the Peanut Gallery? Anyway, how do you like it here so far, Faith?"

"Can't complain," I said, shrugging one shoulder as I took the ball from him and palmed it. "Kinda hungry though. I missed lunch."

"We can go by McDonald's and get something," Casey suggested.

I coughed a little as I dribbled the ball over to the freethrow line. "I don't have any money," I said, looking over at the three of them. And wasn't that the truth? I didn't have a dime to my name and I hadn't for a while now. It really limited your options.

Casey laughed. "Don't worry about it. T's loaded. He always treats."

"Yeah, don't worry about it," T repeated with his goofy grin. "It's no big deal."

I gave them my first genuine smile of the day and then shot the ball. Nothing but net.

T whistled admiringly. "Hey Faith, mind giving me some pointers on my game?"

"What game?" Casey asked immediately which got her a mock glare from T. They were turning out to be a fun bunch and it didn't hurt that they were going to treat me to some lunch cause I could already hear my stomach growling. Just then, the doors to the gym banged open and a group of girls walked in.

You couldn't really mistake them for anything but cheerleaders. It was either the uniforms or the pompoms that gave them away. They all went quiet when they saw us in there. One of them stepped forward. Tall, tan, and blonde, she announced that, "We have practice in here now so why don't you losers go do your loser things somewhere else?"

Casey got up and fired something verbally insulting back but I wasn't really paying attention. The blonde from this morning was in the group. So she was a cheerleader. That didn't really surprise me either. She looked good in the red and white uniform. Her long, straight hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, revealing an elegantly curved neck. And her eyes...I wanted to know why she looked so sad. I've never wanted to know anything about anyone before but I was curious now.

"Come on Faith. Let's get out of here so the queens can prance around." Casey took my elbow again and led us out. My eyes strayed to the blonde as we passed by the group and I saw that she was looking back at me too. I lost sight of her when we walked out the door. The four of us strolled to the school's parking lot and, aside from Casey who was still spitting fire about cheerleaders and their social hierarchical suppression, the rest of us were quiet. She finally stopped to catch her breath when we got to the car. I shouldn't call it a car cause it really wasn't. It was an SUV. The biggest, blackest, shiniest honking SUV I'd ever seen.

"So T," I asked slowly as I kept staring. "Exactly how loaded are you?"

"My parents try to buy my love," he said with an air of weary acceptance, opening the driver's side door. Daniel placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before walking around to the other side of the vehicle. "I just try to put the money to good use. Come on, I'm starved. Let's go get something to eat."

****

Jessica was missing her cues again. Heather was yelling at her like always. The rest of us were talking about what we were going to do during the weekend. Paul, the star of our basketball team, was supposed to be holding this huge party on Saturday and everybody was talking about how great it was going to be, who was going to be there, who they were going with. I felt a headache already pounding away in my skull just listening to them. Couldn't they ever talk about something else or would that just overload their brains and cause them to go comatose?

"So Buffy," Jenny said, getting my attention. "Are you going to Paul's party or are you going to skip out on us again? You know, if you keep doing that, people will start to talk." She giggled along with everybody else. I knew the only people who would talk about something so ridiculously shallow were the same people standing right in front of me.

I put on my fake smile. The one I'd practiced in front of the mirror and said, "How could I miss this party? It's supposed to be huge, isn't it?"

They all began nodding and agreeing like sheep as they continued discussing the party as if it were a great monumental cultural phenomenon instead of just an excuse for a weekend drinking binge. I could feel the smile slipping from my face and it ached to try and hold it up. When had things changed? I could still remember when I was like them, these friends of mine. When I found the things they were discussing truly interesting and not something that would bore me to tears. Sometimes, I found myself wishing I had the guts to tell them that they were all a bunch of stuck up, spoilt, backstabbing, loathsome excuses for human beings.

Heather huffed her way over and stood with her hands on her hips. She was the captain of the squad and she liked flaunting whatever power she had. Most of the time, she did it by yelling and throwing a tantrum when one of us messed up our cues. Most of the time, Jessica was the one being yelled at cause she was just naturally clumsy. "Since we've wasted so much of our time already..." She looked pointedly at Jessica who looked like she was on the verge of tears. "We'll just have to make it up tomorrow." There were a couple of groans but nobody really questioned her cause nobody wanted to be at the receiving end of one of the Nordic Princess' lectures. She fit her nickname to a T. Not only did she look the part with her Norwegian bloodline but she also acted like one --- aloof, cold, and untouchable.

As the others began filtering out of the gym, I walked over to Jessica. "Are you all right?" I asked softly, not wanting to set her off.

She nodded quickly and sucked in a couple of breaths before answering. "Yeah. I'm fine. It's my own fault...I just can't seem to do the moves right. I practice all the time but it's like...I just can't do them."

"Jess, if you don't like doing it, why don't you quit? Nothing's worth this." I should try taking my own advice sometime.

"No, it's all right," she quickly assured me. "It's not that bad. I think I'll stay and try to do the moves again. Thanks anyway Buffy."

I watched a little while longer as she went mechanically through the motions before turning to leave. After practice, it was just routine for everyone to hang out together. I've been coming up with more and more excuses to get out of that. Today's excuse was a headache. That was true enough but the main reason I wanted to leave was because I couldn't stand to be around them anymore. There were a few smirks as well as a few sympathetic looks as I waved good-bye to them and got into my car --- the car I'd gotten for my seventeenth birthday. I had been so happy when I saw it in the driveway with a bright red bow on the hood. *This* was freedom. The ability to be by myself whenever I felt like it. The ability to drive off to where ever I felt like driving myself off to.

And right then, I didn't feel like driving home like I'd told everyone I would. Home was about the last place I wanted to be. It was always so empty there even when it wasn't. So I just drove...past familiar streets and familiar houses and familiar people until I couldn't recognize anything anymore and then I drove some more. Somewhere along the way, I'd turned on the radio just to hear something else besides silence around me. It didn't matter what station it was on just as long as there was another voice in the car, even if it were a commercial like it was now.

I would've driven all night if I could but if I did that, I wouldn't hear the end of it from my mom. I turned back and headed to my house. It took a little longer than I thought it would to get back and by the time I stepped through the front door, I was late for dinner.

"Buffy?" My mom called from the dining room.

"Sorry I'm late," I said with an apologetic smile already in place as I walked past her to the kitchen. My parents have always insisted on a sit down dinner so that we could all 'share an open line of communication'. The only trouble was that, lately, my dad's not so open anymore. He rarely shows up for dinner and when he does there's always yelling and shouting and arguments about why he works so late, among other things. Inevitably, I'd get sent off so they could shout louder without the guilt of having me there to witness it. Of course, I could always hear it even from my bedroom. I think you'd be able to hear it from the neighbor's yard if you wanted.

"Were you over at Heather's?" Mom asked as I came in with a plate of meatloaf.

"Yeah," I lied.

"How was school?" She asked.

"Fine," I said, trying to eat as fast as possible so I didn't have to sit here and lie to her anymore. Thankfully, she didn't ask any more questions. Maybe she ran out or maybe she's as tired as I am. She looks it. For the first time in my life, I look over at my mom and she looks old. Of course, I know my mom is old --- she's like forty something, but she seems to have aged so much lately. As soon as my plate was clean, I excused myself from the table and went up to my room. I spent a couple of hours working on my homework in between staring at the loudly blaring TV screen, and taking a shower before going to sleep.

Just like almost every other night, I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of yelling. I listened as my parents' voices rose and fell as they walked through the house, slamming doors and cabinets and closets. They yelled about the same things they always yelled about. How they couldn't stand it here anymore, how unhappy they were, how unhappy they were with each other. I tried to block it all out, clamping my hands over my ears but it never worked cause I could still hear them. And I wanted to shout for them to just shut up.

I took the headphones off the desk next to the bed and turned on the CD player so that I wouldn't have to listen to it anymore. And, just like almost every other night, I laid there, letting the music wash over me and waiting for sleep to find me again. The next time I woke up, it was to my mom, trying to shake me awake.

"Buffy, Buffy. Wake up. You're going to be late again," she said with a hint of exasperation in her tone. I got up and dressed as quickly as I could before going downstairs and snagging a piece of toast for breakfast. Dad wasn't there. No surprise. My parents never talked to me about what was going on. I guess they thought I couldn't handle it or something so mom never once mentions the late night screaming session even though she must know I must've heard them.

We head out the door at the same time and I give her a kiss good-bye before getting into my car and driving off. On the way to school, I pass by this big, black SUV that had to have belonged to T. I've known him since kindergarten, way before popularity meant anything and way before we got separated into our own isolated cliques whose only interactions always ended like it did yesterday. But, on those rare occasions when it's just him and me and nobody else, we revert back to kids. Cause when we were kids, we were the best of friends. Over the years, things just got in the way of that.

I got to my first class a minute before the bell rang and prepared myself, just like I'm sure everyone else did, to a lecture that wouldn't be much more fun than watching paint peel. I looked around and noticed that the new girl, Faith, wasn't there yet. Idly, I wondered why I cared. Mr. Drummond started getting excited or as excited as he ever got and began talking about a project he'd thought up yesterday and everybody started groaning because we all knew what was going to happen now. He was going to split us into groups and give us a ridiculously short time frame in which to finish the project. The only good thing about it was that he didn't do this kind of thing too often but when he did, it kind of ruins whatever plans you might already have made.

The door opened just when he was writing the project questions on the board and in walked Faith. Dressed in a white tank top and tight black pants, she walked right past Mr. Drummond as if he weren't even there and took the seat next to me. Mr. Drummond went back to writing and I snuck a peak at Faith who was taking out a piece of torn out notebook paper and the pen I gave her yesterday. I wondered briefly where she kept the notebook that page came out of when she turned her head and caught me looking at her. She quirked her right eyebrow and a corner of her mouth lifted into a half grin.

I felt myself grinning back before I could clamp down on the almost reflexive response. I looked away trying to concentrate on what the teacher was saying and trying to pretend like nothing had happened. After all, nothing *had* happened. So, she smiled at me and I smiled back. People do that all the time. Only...I don't do that --- not me. Cause, if I had been the same person I was just a couple of months ago, I wouldn't have given her the time of day. But then again, I'm really not that person anymore and I guess I'll have to just sit down one of these days and figure out who I am now.

Mr. Drummond had finished writing on the board and was now addressing the class. As I'd figured, he started splitting everybody up. Into pairs this time.

"So, pair up with the person sitting next to you," he said. "And choose a topic from the board to do your report on. You can take the rest of the class to start working on it. And, if there's nobody sitting next to you, raise your hand."

I looked across at Faith again but she was focused on whatever it was she was drawing on her paper and didn't seem to have heard the announcement so I reached over and tapped her on the arm. She looked up and gave me an expectant look.

"We're supposed to pair up and do this project on the board," I said, hoping I didn't sound as stupid as I thought I did.

She looked up at the blackboard and frowned slightly. "All of them?"

"No," I said quickly. "We're just supposed to pick one."

"All right," she said, turning around fully in her seat so she was facing me. "But before we roll up our sleeves and dive in, I think I'm gonna need to know my partner's name --- just so I don't have to call you Blondie or Hey You from now on." The corner of her lip quirked up again and, like before, I couldn't help but return the grin.

"Buffy Summers," I said. "And before you ask, yes, that *is* really my name and I *do* like it just fine."

Her grin grew wider as she got up and moved her seat closer so that her knee was almost touching my thigh. "Faith Spencer," she said. "And I would never make fun of someone who gave me a pen when I needed it most. With purple ink no less."

"So, uh, which question do you want to work on?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation back to work.

She turned her head, reading over the questions listed on the board. "I don't know," she finally said, shrugging her shoulders. "You've been here longer than me. Which one do you think is gonna be easy?"

"They're all pretty much going to suck but...how about the women's movement?"

"Whatever," she said, playing with the edges of my notebook. "It's all the same to me."

Grinning slightly, I asked, "You need another piece of paper or something?"

She chuckled but shook her head. "Nah. I was just thinking that your notebook's real cute."

"Cute?"

"Yeah. It's so small and...pink." She laughed again and I decided suddenly that I liked the way she laughed. It was real and it was infectious.

"I'm glad you like it but let's get back to the project. We'll have to do it either today or this weekend since it's due on Monday. Actually, if you're free today, we can just get it over with."

"Yeah, sure, I'm free," she said, even though it looked like she wasn't too sure about that.

"Great. I have practice today but we can meet after that if that's all right with you?"

"No problem."

****

"Hey Faith, over here."

I smiled as I spotted Casey, T, and Daniel already sitting at a table in the cafeteria. "Hey guys," I said, greeting them as I sat down. T pushed across a tray loaded down with food at me. "What's this?"

"Lunch is served. Come on, eat up." He grinned as he started eating a cookie from his own tray.

I mentally shrugged and started eating. If they wanted to fatten me up, I wasn't going to complain. Hanging out with them was really kinda fun. Yesterday, we'd hung out for a couple of hours, not really doing anything specific, just driving around, talking, eating, playing around. They didn't press about my family or life history for which I was glad. I guess we all had our messed up little problems that we didn't want to share with anyone else and we just gave each other our privacy when it came to that.

"So, I was thinking," T said in between sips of milk. "Maybe, after school, we can head over to the arcade. You like games right Faith? We've got to get you to play some StreetFighter. I AM the master but I'll go easy on you, I promise."

"Don't believe him," Casey said, ignoring T's hurt expression. "He's a total monster and a crybaby if he loses."

"First of all," T said, holding up a hand. "I don't lose. And as for the crybaby part, I'm not even going to address such a lie. Come on, back me up here Daniel."

Daniel popped a chip into his mouth and shook his head no.

I watched them argue some more and laughed a little when T tried pulling his pouty face. It looked ridiculous on him and I let him know it. "I'd love to go T but something came up today," I finally said when they'd calmed down some. "I got stuck with this project I've got to do."

"No problem, we can help. Right Casey?"

Casey nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, nobody bullshits a report like I do. What's the topic?"

"Women's Lib or something but the thing is, I have to do it with someone else. Buffy Summers. You guys know her?"

"Are you kidding me?" Casey shouted causing a few heads to turn. She lowered her voice a bit before continuing. "She's a cheerleader. One of the Queens. That group of wannabe prima donnas think they own this whole school and everybody should bow down and kiss their feet, throwing rose petals in their path whenever they pass by."

"She's not that bad," I said. I was surprising myself cause it sounded like I was defending her which I guess I was. But Buffy was different. I'd thought that since the first time I laid eyes on her and that wasn't an exaggeration or anything like in the movies or in books. This was real. "She's all right."

"Yeah, she is," T said speaking up. "I've known her since kindergarten and she's really pretty cool when she's not around those other girls."

Casey still didn't look like she was totally convinced but she shrugged. "I guess. But if you try to convince me that Heather and Jenny are cool too, I'll know that you've been taken over by pod people and I won't hesitate to use lethal force on you."

T laughed at the serious expression Casey had on her face. "No, I think we're still on the same page concerning those two and...speak of the devil." His gaze was on the cafeteria's doors where Heather and her crew were just then making their entrance. And it *was* an entrance. They all walked with a confidence in their step and wore an attitude that screamed 'I'm better than you' like a piece of clothing. I caught a glimpse of Buffy in there and, like the other day, she looked like she fit in perfectly with her crowd. But she didn't. Not really.

Her eyes glanced over our table and, maybe it was just me, but I think her gaze lingered a bit before it moved on. Fuck, I don't even know why it matters if she *does* happen to look this way a little longer. I turned back towards my tray and began taking off that annoying plastic wrap on the sandwich that never wants to come off.

"Oh, hey. You know what?" Casey suddenly asked with a mischievous smile on her face. "You know what we can do tomorrow? You guys heard about the party right?"

"Paul," Daniel supplied. The guy wasn't what you'd call talkative...and I dig that.

"Exactly. Who's up for crashing it?" Casey was nearly hopping up and down in her seat with excitement. "Come on. Come on. It'll be fun."

I looked around the table and everyone was looking at me for some reason. "What?"

"Well," T explained. "We're essentially planning to go somewhere we're not invited or wanted for that matter. Are you up for rude and derogatory remarks aimed behind your back all for the sake of putting a monkey wrench into the system?"

Rude and derogatory remarks. Like I wasn't used to that already. "Sounds fun," I drolly answered, returning my attention back to the sandwich in front of me.

The rest of the day passed real quick, mostly cause I wasn't paying any attention to whatever the teachers were saying. I don't think I remember even one of their names but that's cool cause I don't think they remember mine either. Gym class rolled around and since Casey wasn't going to be using hers, I asked to borrow her uniform. She looked at me like I was crazy or something but I just didn't feel like sitting still for forty-five minutes today. I needed to move and run and sweat and get this fidgety feeling out of my system. So I changed into the too baggy shorts and the too short T-shirt and walked into the gym where they'd already set up volleyball nets.

I waited for the coach as she set us up like chess pieces on either side of the net. I ended up in the front, staring across at some girl who looked like she had more interest in her fingernails than what was going on around her. I felt the grin coming across my face and I wished I had the ball right then. But the ball was behind me. Someone soft-served it, barely making it over the net. The girl across from me slapped it up into the air. It wasn't even on my side yet but it was close enough so I jumped up and pounded that sucker down. It nearly took off the other girl's head before it bounced on the floor.

I watched as the girl across from me stared back. She had this 'I can't believe you fucking did that' expression on her face and I just grinned harder, feeling the adrenaline pumping through my body. Things pretty much went on like that. It didn't take too long before most of my other team mates just started getting out of my way when I went for the ball so that, by the end of class, I was practically playing by myself --- and I was still winning.

I had moved and run and sweated like I needed to and I felt great. Casey came up to me and poked me in the stomach. "Hope you got that out of your system tiger." She smirked. "I don't think anyone's ever going to want to play with you again."

"Gee. And here I thought we were having shiny, happy fun."

"You nearly decapitated half the team and sent the other half scurrying in fear --- not that I'm complaining. It was fun to watch."

"I aim to entertain," I said, winking back at her as I walked to the showers.

After showering, I headed to my last class of the day. Since I had ditched it yesterday, I had to go through the whole process of presenting myself to the teacher and waiting for him to assign me a seat. It was an English class and they were talking about short stories and stuff. It wasn't half bad actually cause the teacher was kinda funny in a drily sarcastic way so by the time the class ended, I was almost wishing it would go on a little longer...almost.

But now that school had officially ended, I was stuck with what to do next. When did Buffy's practice end anyway? And what the hell was I gonna do till it ended? I eventually went to the library and tried to employ a skill of mine which had gone rusty with disuse. I was going to research. My idea of research probably didn't mesh with other people's --- it involved me throwing together a couple of books that looked like they might be useful and, most importantly of all, easy enough to get through and then getting the hell out of there. Libraries always creeped me out. It was probably cause they're always telling you to 'keep it down'. Those three little words pretty much suck the fun out of just about everything.

Once, I got out of the library, I realized that the whole trip took just fifteen minutes of my time so that I'm left with the same question of what to do next, only this time around, I'm loaded down with a couple of extra pounds of books as well. I wandered outside to the back of the school where the track was cause I figured, that way, I could catch some sun and, at the same time, keep an eye on the gym where the cheerleading practice was taking place. There were a couple of other people already sitting on the bleachers when I got there. Some of them were watching the runners on the field. Others were like me, just hanging out there to pass the time.

There was only so much time I could spend watching someone else running around and around a track before I start feeling my head spin. Since I didn't have a watch with me, I'm guessing it was around ten minutes I sat staring.

Attention span? What attention span?

I'd started out sitting on the bleachers but, somewhere along the way, I found myself lying down and staring up into the blue sky. It was nice, just lying there and feeling the soft breeze running across my body. I had slid one of the books under my head and I couldn't have gotten any more comfortable considering where I was but then I heard my name being called. Turning my head to the side, I looked down and saw the coach from gym class standing on the bottom bleacher.

"Spencer," she said again. "What are you doing here?"

I thought that was a stupid obvious question seeing as how I'm laid out here with a book under my head like a pillow but I answered anyway. "Lying down would be my first guess," I said, not even trying to couch the sarcasm.

"I can see that," she said, placing her hands on her hips. "I also saw what you did in my class today and I'm wondering where you've been all my life."

I sat up as she climbed up to where I was. "Uh, thanks?" I wasn't sure where she was going with this. I just hoped she wasn't trying to flirt with me or something. That would be so wrong on so many levels.

"You've got some kind of talent," she continued, sitting next to me. "But since we don't have an official volleyball team at this school, I'd like you to try out for the track team instead."

I looked at her like she'd grown another head but she just looked back at me like she actually expected a decent answer. "I'm not into sports," I finally said, hoping she'd take that as a hint to wrap it up and leave.

"Right. You're more the sleeping on the bleachers type. Come on Spencer. It's not like you've got anything better to do. Just show me what you've got and get me out of your hair."

I went for my last excuse which sounded lame even to me. "I don't have any sweats or anything." She just motioned for me to follow so I grabbed the books and did. What was the big deal? She was right about me not having anything better to do. And I gotta admit, it didn't feel too bad to be wanted for something I was good at. She led me to a storage room where she rooted through a few piles of clothes and tossed me a couple of pairs of T-shirts and shorts.

"Go change and meet me out on the track," she said.

****

We'd just about done every routine twice by the time Heather was finally satisfied enough to call it quits. Jessica had done pretty well too, making only a couple of mistakes here and there. Nothing major. So she was in a nearly jubilant mood as she bounced over and pertly asked, "Hey Buffy. You're coming to the movies with us tonight right?"

Before I could answer, Jenny, who had overheard the question, came over. "Buffy probably has something better to do, don't you Buff? Or did that headache come back again?"

"I'd love to go to the movies Jess," I said, ignoring Jenny. "But I've got this huge project I need to work on."

Jenny chuckled like I'd said the funniest thing. "Oh, is that the excuse you're using now?"

"First of all, it's not an excuse," I said, turning and staring her down. "Second of all, why don't you take your nose and stick it somewhere it's more comfortable. Like up Heather's butt where you usually have it." I didn't mean for it to come out but I meant every word of it. I was just so sick and tired of her bitchy attitude.

Jenny huffed and her lips pressed down into a thin line but she didn't say anything as she walked past me and out the door. Everybody else followed her, including Heather who gave me a cold stare and Jessica who wouldn't even look at me. I stood there for a minute longer, wondering what I'd gotten myself into. I could probably convince them it was the stress talking but, right now, I didn't feel like I *had* to explain anything and it felt good that it didn't bother me.

Practice was over. Maybe in more ways than one. I looked around at the empty gym and wondered where Faith was. We'd just agreed that we would meet after my practice but she'd never said where she would be. Finally walking outside, I looked around again but the only people I saw were the runners on the track field. I had absolutely no idea where Faith could be, if she was looking for me, or even if she remembered we were supposed to meet so I went and sat down at one of the bleachers, deciding it was best to wait a little while just to give her a chance to show.

I had just sat down and was turning my head around in the classic 'waiting for someone' posture when one of the runners jogged off the track and headed my way. I wasn't really paying attention until she stopped right in front of me. I looked up and saw a familiar face smirking down at me. "Faith?"

"Yeah, who else were you expecting?" Her hair was damp and some loose tendrils were hanging in her face. She was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and breathing faster than normal. All in all, she still looked good.

I got up and smirked. "When did you join the track team?"

"A couple hours ago. So you ready to go?"

"Yeah, but let me get my clothes from my locker first."

She looked me over, assessing me, her eyes running up and down. "Sure you want to do that? The uniform looks good on you." I wasn't sure what to say and after a second she just shrugged. "Come on then. Let's go. I gotta shower anyway."

As we walked towards the locker room, I kept wondering what she'd meant and what that look had meant. It wasn't like I hadn't heard stuff like that a hundred times already and seen it even more times but that kind of stuff usually came from guys. Faith wasn't a guy. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye and watched as she absently ran a hand through her hair. No, she definitely wasn't a guy. I could just have been making more out of it than it was --- yeah, that was definitely it.

And anyway, it hadn't been like all the other times when there was always a leer accompanying the comment or just the naked look standing unadorned. This...this was more of an honest utterance, kind of like when I told Jenny off. Kind of.

As soon as we walked through the doors of the locker room, Faith immediately began undressing, taking off her top and heading towards the showers. "I'll wait for you in the parking lot," I yelled at her back. The girl wasn't shy, that much was for sure. Going over to my locker, I changed out of my uniform before stuffing it into a pack and leaving for the parking lot. If I'd left five minutes later, maybe I could've avoided Heather and her group but as it was, I ran right into them.

They all more or less gave me the cold shoulder and a few nasty looks on the side. Unlocking the trunk of the car, I threw in my pack and as I slammed the top down, Heather came over with a serious expression plastered across her face. We stood looking at each other, holding out to see who would make the first move. Heather finally blew out a soft breath as she tried to pin me down with one of her patented Ice Queen stares. "You did it this time Buffy," she said, shaking her head sadly. "I don't know how you'll be able to repair the damage and that's not to mention the damage that's been done to the morale of the squad."

I would've laughed if I weren't so indignant. "The morale of the squad? Heather, I don't think even *you* can pin the entire morale of the squad on me but since you did, I'll tell you this --- it doesn't help 'morale' when you try holding your little power trip over all of us and it doesn't help 'morale' when you spend half of the squad's practice time yelling at Jessica in front of everyone so if we're done talking about 'morale', I'll let you get back to holding court and you can let me get back to my business if that's all right with you."

Heather gave me about the nastiest look I'd ever gotten in my life before spinning on her heels and walking back to the other girls who were still milling around in a loose group a couple of feet away. If I had ever entertained any hopes that we could have kissed and made up, that speech about blew that hope out of the water. But I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel sorry, or regretful, or happy, or anything but empty all of a sudden. Like the anger I'd just let loose had drawn all of my emotions away along with it.

Then I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and I looked up to find Faith, fresh from the shower, looking at me with a concerned expression on her face. Her hair was still damp and she had a small duffel bag thrown over her shoulder with the school's logo emblazoned on its side. "Are you all right?" She asked, briefly looking past me to the group.

"You saw what happened?"

In response, the corner of her lip quirked up and all she said was, "That was some speech." She walked over to the passenger side of the car and waited patiently for me to unlock the doors.

We'd already decided that we would work on the project at my house so I started driving there. Some new pop song was playing softly on the radio but aside from that, we were both quiet the whole way through the ride. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence and I kind of liked the fact that we didn't need to search for something to talk about just to have something to talk about. But she was looking kinda pale when we got to the house and I just hoped she wasn't coming down with anything. Mom wasn't there yet so I just got us a couple of sodas and settled down in the living room.

Faith opened up her bag and took out a couple of books. "I thought these might help," she said as she placed them on the table.

I smiled, picking one up. "This is great," I stated. "Look, it even has 'Woman' in the title. That's a big check in the good column."

"See, that's why this project is going to be no problem at all cause that's exactly what I said when I picked up that book. We're totally on the same wavelength, B."

She had such a huge smile on her face that I couldn't help but laugh along. "Did you just give me a nickname Faith?" I asked, nudging her with my elbow.

She assumed a thoughtful expression as if she was seriously thinking about it and then looked me straight in the eyes, saying with a totally straight face, "Yeah, I guess I did. Now that I've known you for a grand total of what, two whole days, I feel comfortable enough to nickname you. I could've called you Little Buddy but I find that demeaning and less endearing than B."

I tried keeping the grin off my face as we sat there staring at each other, waiting for the other to break but I couldn't keep it up for more than a minute before a laugh bubbled out of my mouth which finally cracked Faith up too.

"Little Buddy?" I choked out in between a fresh wave of giggles. "Who do you think I am? Gilligan?" That made her laugh harder and I wondered if she was picturing me in a white fisherman's cap and red sweater.

We eventually got down to working but as soon as we did, mom came home and walked into the room.

"Hey mom."

"Hi, honey."

"This is Faith," I said as an introduction. "We're working on a project for school together."

"Hi Mrs. Summers. It's good to meet you," Faith said standing up to greet her with a wide smile on her face.

Mom seemed to like her right away. It was probably cause Faith laid that charming, toothy smile on her. But whatever it was, mom invited her to stay for dinner. We had chicken and I hid a smirk behind my drumstick when Faith gushed about how good it was. Mom seemed to appreciate the compliment though so that by the end of dinner, I think they totally fell in love with each other. It was really kind of a sweet thing to see when Faith offered to do the dishes. I thought mom was going to tear up there for a second. I shouldn't really complain though cause it was about the best night that I could remember having for a long time --- and all because of Faith. Before we left to go work in my room, mom actually made Faith promise that she'd come over for dinner again.

"You've got a real cool mom, B," she said as soon as the door closed behind us. I grinned at the use of the nickname. Now that I think about it, nobody's ever called me by a nickname before.

"I think my mom likes you too, Faith," I said, flopping down on my bed. "I don't think I've ever seen her like this with any of my other friends." I watched her as she walked around the room, looking at all my knick knacks. She lingered near a shelf where I had a couple of photographs of my family and a couple of me in the cheerleading squad before moving back over to sit at the head of my bed.

"Who's this?" She asked, picking up the stuffed pig off my pillow and bringing it to eye level to stare into its black button eyes.

"That," I said, moving over to sit next to her, "is my best friend in the whole, wide world. Mr. Gordo, Faith. Faith, Mr. Gordo," I said, introducing them.

Not missing a beat, she continued looking into Mr. Gordo's eyes and solemnly said, "Very nice to meet you, Mr. Gordo." And as I watched her, watching my pig, the thought crossed my mind that it was the just about the cutest display I'd ever seen. I shook the thought off immediately and wondered where these weird thoughts were coming from. First at the track and now here. Faith turned her head and caught me watching her. She had this unreadable expression on her face and I suddenly wanted to know what she was thinking.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, still looking into her eyes which I'd noticed were impossibly large and brown.

She opened her mouth but closed it just as quickly. Without saying anything, she got off the bed and went to get the books. "You think we'll finish this tonight?" She asked, her back turned towards me.

I mentally shook myself again and forced my mind back onto the project even though I kept sneaking looks at Faith throughout the rest of the night when I thought she wasn't looking. I didn't even know why I did it except that I was confused and I knew that the confusion was because of her. And since I couldn't really concentrate fully on the work, it wasn't till around 11:00 that we finally finished. I rose up and stretched as soon as it was done. "Finally," I said. "I thought it would never get done."

"Like I said, no worries," Faith said with a cocky grin.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, slumping down next to her and yawning. "You're a modern day prophet."

"Just call me Mohammed," she said getting up and collecting the books to throw them into her duffel bag.

"Where are you going?"

She was standing there, holding her bag in her hand. "Home," she said, shrugging.

"It's 11:00, Faith. Why don't you just sleep over and go home in the morning? You can call your folks on the phone if you want."

She looked so unsure standing there that I got up and took the bag from out of her hand. "I'll give you a ride in the morning, okay?"

****

They were beating him and beating him. They kept beating him till he fell down.

But they picked him back up again.

Her Daddy's eyes were looking at her. He was crying.

Please Daddy don't cry. Please stop hitting my Daddy.

I sucked in a deep breath as I woke from another dream. I hated how this shit made me feel. Every time I woke up it was like I was that little girl again and I was helpless and small. I wiped a hand across my eyes, trying to get rid of the last bits of clinging sleep when I heard the yelling. It was muffled cause of the walls but it was still loud enough that I could make out some words. I recognized one of the voices as Mrs. Summers. Maybe the dream wasn't what woke me up this time.

After Buffy had convinced me that it was a better idea to go home in the morning, she'd insisted that I sleep on the bed with her and when I asked why, she'd told me cause it reminded her of the slumber parties she had as a kid. So, here I am, in Buffy Summers' bed and her parents, at least I think that's her father, are having a fight downstairs. Turning my head to the right, I saw that Buffy had her back to me. She was all curled up. One of her hands was covering her ear and she was so tense that there's no way she could've been asleep.

I wasn't sure how to handle it. Did I try and comfort her or would that just make her more uncomfortable? Should I just leave her alone and pretend like I'm still asleep? I hadn't known the girl that long. I didn't know how she'd react.

But as I kept staring at her back, I knew I had to help and just pray that I wasn't making the whole situation worse. I turned my body so I was lying on my side too and I placed a hand on the back of her shoulder. She tensed up immediately and it was like I was touching stone. But instead of moving my hand away, I just started rubbing in tiny circular motions until she started relaxing. I had no words that would make it better so I just kept my mouth shut and hoped what I was doing was enough.

After a few more minutes, she turned so that she was lying on her back. The light coming from the outside of her window was enough so I could see that her eyes were still open and fixed on the ceiling. Then she turned her head and her eyes were fixed on me. She just looked at me with such a hurt in her eyes that I found my mouth opening and words coming out that I'd never meant to say. "Do you remember when you asked me what I was thinking?"

She nodded.

"I was thinking how beautiful you are...And I just kept asking myself how anyone so beautiful could have this much sadness in their eyes. I didn't say anything cause I didn't want you to think I was a freak or something." I don't know why I said those words to her. Afterwards, her body began shaking and I thought that I'd somehow done it to her and I was apologizing but she just released this sob and buried herself into my arms. My arms wrapped around her body and I absorbed her tears and the heaving sobs that wracked her small body for what seemed like hours before they started to die down. Her head was buried on my shoulder and her hands were holding tightly onto my waist. Eventually her breathing evened out and I knew she was asleep.

The yelling had stopped. I laid there a little while longer just listening to the silence and feeling Buffy's breath warming my neck and I guess I dozed off like that cause when I woke up again, it was light in the room. I slid out of Buffy's arms which was way harder than it sounds cause she kept pulling me back even though she was still asleep as far as I could tell. After I'd cleaned myself up in the bathroom, I came back into her room but she was still out. I didn't want to wake her cause she just looked so peaceful that I left her like that and wandered downstairs to plop myself in front of the TV and zone out on Saturday morning cartoons.

Around the end of the second cartoon, Buffy came into the room. "Hey," she said softly. I sat up as she came to sit next to me.

"Are you feeling all right?" I asked.

She stared off at the television a little bit longer before she turned her head and gave me a wide smile. "Thank you for yesterday." Her smile faltered. "I hope I didn't freak you out too bad."

"No," I said quickly. "Of course you didn't. I mean, I know how it is. You have all this stuff bottled up inside of you and sooner or later, you just feel like you're going to pop. Don't apologize for it B. I'm just glad I could help without screwing it up."

"You didn't screw up Faith. If anything, that was probably the best night of sleep I've gotten in a long time." She smiled at me again, that wide beautiful smile that made me feel good inside even though I hadn't done anything...not really.

And of course I couldn't stand looking at it for more than a second. I broke eye contact and said something about being hungry. She took my hand and led me off to the kitchen where we feasted on some cereal, toasted bread, and juice.

"Oh, fuck. What time is it?" I asked, around a mouthful of cereal.

Buffy glanced at her watch. "Around ten," she said.

I'd totally forgotten that Coach had told me to report to the track early this morning. "Can you drive me to school?" I asked. I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't desperate. Buffy's driving isn't what you'd call safe and fun. More like 'for the love of God, please don't crash into that lamp post' scary. I don't think she knows how bad she really is. But I *was* desperate so as soon as she said she would, I chugged down the juice and ran upstairs to get the duffel bag. When we got to the track, Coach was totally pissed at me and gave me a lecture about being on time or something like that. She finally wound down and told me to take a couple of laps around the track. I walked back to where Buffy was standing.

"Ouch," she said in sympathy.

I shrugged it off. "I was only a couple of hours late. You'd think I hadn't shown up at all or something by the way she talks." She smirked and rolled her eyes at me. "So I guess I'm gonna be stuck here for a while. Thanks for the ride over."

"You don't mind if I stay for awhile and just watch you, right?"

"If you don't mind watching me running around in a circle like a lab rat, be my guest. But don't blame me if you get bored." She stuck her tongue out at me as I walked away to get changed. It was really kinda cute, not like I was ever gonna tell her that though. She was sitting on the bleachers when I came out a few minutes later and, on a sudden impulse, I waved at her. At least she waved back. Otherwise, I would have looked like more of a dork than I already did. I don't know what was up with me when Buffy was nearby. It was like she brought out this whole other person in me I hadn't ever known existed and I liked how she made me feel.

"Spencer!" Coach yelled at me. "When you're done waving at your girlfriend, would you mind gracing us with your presence?"

"You've got that sarcasm thing down pat Coach," I said, walking past her to get warmed up. Working through a couple of stretches, I began jogging around the track and when I felt my muscles loosening and my body begin to warm up, I turned up the speed until I was running. The best thing about running is that your mind is focused on nothing else but running...at least mine is. Putting one foot in front of the other, breathing evenly, pushing down the pain...mostly thinking about pushing down the pain cause without that, you know you're not doing it right. One lap passes, two, three, four. I don't keep track after the fourth.

I keep going until my lungs begin to burn and my legs begin to feel like lead. I keep going lap after lap until I nearly run myself into the ground and it feels like I'm going to drop if I take one more step. Then I slow down to a jog again.

When I finally stop, Coach comes over to me and puts a hand on my back as I'm bent over with my hands on my knees, trying to bring my breathing back under control. "When I said, take a few laps," she said, "I didn't mean that you should kill yourself on the track . You've got to take it easier, Spencer."

I would've said something but I was too busy panting. She handed me a bottle of water and left me there. Picking myself up, I walked over to the bleachers where Buffy was still sitting and took a seat one bench down from her.

"Have fun?" She asked, all perky and smiling innocently.

I just looked up at her and uncapped the bottle to take a couple of swallows. But I couldn't keep the grin from spreading across my face as she kept looking at me with that silly expression on her face. "All I need is a couple of minutes and I'll be right out there again," I told her, letting a cocky grin slip across my face.

She smirked. "As what? A speed bump?"

I climbed up to sit next to her. "Let me repair your misconceptions before you embarrass yourself any further Ms. Summers. You see, I'm like the friggin Energizer Bunny." She looked at me skeptically. "It's true. I just keep going and going and going."

"Oh," she says, her face lighting up. "You meant it *that* way. I thought you were talking about how you're both fuzzy and cute."

"I. Am. Not. Fuzzy." I stated slowly so she wouldn't miss any words.

"Okay," she said, shrugging. "Then you're just cute."

I opened my mouth to protest again when I saw her trying but failing to keep the grin off of her face. "Maybe you need this water more than I do," I said instead. "I think the sun's getting to you B."

She deftly took the bottle from my hands and took a few sips, her eyes still staring at me the whole time and I could feel myself getting hot again. But this time, it had nothing to do with running. Maybe I was wrong but this sounded and looked a lot like flirting to me. And if it was? Buffy was cute, beautiful even...and if I was honest with myself, way too good for me. And that didn't even take into account that we were both girls which makes things a hell of a lot hairier. So I shook the thoughts from my head as best I could and smiled at her as I went back onto the track.

Buffy left about a half hour later and I left a couple of hours after that. It was around four in the afternoon by the time I left . With nothing better to do, I went home. When I walked through the front door, I could hear the TV in the living room. Doris was probably in there so I went the opposite way into the kitchen and fixed myself a sandwich and got some fruit juice. As foster parents went, Doris and her husband weren't that bad. They stayed out of my business and I stayed out of theirs. As long as we mutually respected each other's right to be left alone, we didn't have to say two words to each other all day. Sometimes, even less than that.

Since there wasn't much else to do around the house and I'd damned near killed myself on the track earlier, I fell asleep halfway through finishing my sandwich. And I wasn't sure how long I was out before a knocking at my door woke me up.

"What?" I asked, trying to blink away the sleep. "Casey? What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?" She repeated like she couldn't believe I was asking such a wicked obvious question. "Faith, did you forget about the party?"

"Party?"

"Paul's party," she said, dragging me up so that I was sitting. "Come on, sleepyhead. Get dressed. T and Daniel are waiting outside."

I tried suppressing a yawn as I looked at her. "I don't know Case, I don't feel much like partying right now."

Her face fell as she began pleading with me. "But you have to come. How are we going to crash a party without you? Please. Come on. Pretty please?"

She kept repeating it over and over until I couldn't take it anymore and I finally just gave in. "Fine, I'll go. Just give me ten minutes." She hopped up and down like some deranged bunny rabbit before going out the door and, as soon as she did, I flopped back onto the bed.

****

After I'd left Faith, I'd decided to go home and just spend the day lazing around but a phone call from Jessica changed my plans. Our conversation went something like this:

Jess: Buffy, everybody's mad at you. They all think the stress and pressure's gotten to you but they're still mad at what you said, especially Jenny. Is it because of problems at home? Your parents?

Me: No

Jess: Buffy, we're your friends. We all care about you. How long have we known each other? Since fifth grade? We can work through whatever problems you've got. Do you want to talk about it with me?

Me: No.

Jess: Well, I think it'll be good if you come out and just hang with everybody tonight like we used to do. We can talk about it then. Let me pick you up tonight for Paul's party. Everyone's going to be there.

Me: Jess--

Jess: Cool, I'll pick you up tonight Buff.

That was the general gist of how it went, give or take a word or two. So here I am, sitting in Jessica's VW Beetle listening to her talking about how mad Heather and Jenny were and how everything would be just fine if we all got together and talked our problems out. I know she means well but she can be so annoying when she's playing mediator. I already knew Heather and Jenny were mad and I didn't need to keep hearing about it every fifteen seconds.

I hopped out of the car before it even came to a total stop as soon as we got to Paul's house. I just wanted to get it over with and go home. So I went inside, searching for Heather and her group with Jessica tailing me all the way. Of course, they weren't too hard to find. You can always spot them by the large gathering of giggling girls and posturing boys. The ones hanging around the edges were the least popular, hoping that just being close to the in crowd would somehow rub off on them. And I walked past them, stopping just long enough now and then to return a greeting. In the center was Heather. If you wanted an analogy, Heather was the sun to everybody else's space dirt. At least, that's how she sees herself. Everybody went quiet as I finally stepped in front of her.

"Buffy," she said, looking at me with a quirked eyebrow.

"Hello Heather." I took a deep breath and just pushed the words out of my mouth. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier." Jenny came to stand next to Heather as she looked haughtily down at me. "It was totally uncalled for and I realize that it was hurtful to both you and Jenny. So, please accept my apology."

Jessica had pushed her way over to us and she added on my behalf, "Buffy's been under a lot of pressure lately, Heather. She's been telling me how sorry she's been all the way over here."

I looked over at her to see that she had a totally sincere expression on her face and if I didn't know better, I'd buy her story too. Heather's cool expression melted the tiniest fraction. "I understand the pressure, Buffy. God knows, I understand. But you can't go around snapping everybody's head off, especially us, your friends."

I tried not rolling my eyes and I think I succeeded . For the most part, I just kept my head down and nodded until she was satisfied with the amount of remorse I was showing. Jenny didn't say anything to me which was fine as far as I was concerned. The less we talked the better. With that out of the way, I was going to call it a night and make up another excuse to leave but Jessica would have none of it. For some reason, she keeps insisting that I shouldn't be alone 'at a time like this'. I don't know what time she was talking about but I couldn't get away no matter what inventive excuses I came up with.

So, for all intents and purposes, I was stuck there, listening to twenty different inane conversations going all around me. All this noise competing with the thumping bass of the music made my head start to pound along with it so I went to the kitchen to get myself something to drink. Only problem was, the fridge seemed to be stocked with nothing but bottles and bottles and bottles of beer...plus one incongruously out of place ketchup bottle. I took one, figuring one beer couldn't hurt and it'd probably make the time go faster too when I felt an arm being thrown across my shoulder.

"Jack," I said, trying to slip out from under his arm. Jack was one of those guys that thought he was God's gift to women because he had a pretty face and a filthy rich dad. Any sort of rejection he received, he'd take it as a personal challenge. Needless to say, I was a challenge to him.

"Buffy, where have you been?" He asked. His breath smelled like he'd had a couple of beers already. "I was looking for you."

"Uh, yeah," I said, taking the bottle opener from the counter and opening up my beer. "I just got here." He slipped his arm across my shoulders again as I took a sip from the bottle.

"Y'know," he said, breathing into my ear. "Paul's got a pool in the backyard. You wanna take a dip with me?"

"I think you've had too much to drink if you think I'm going to say yes." I began to walk towards the door when he grabbed my arm and pulled me back, hard.

His fingers were digging into my flesh and a vein in his forehead was popping out. "I don't know why you keep playing hard to get girl. Look Buffy, you've got me, okay? You've got me. So stop jerking me around." He moved in and I turned my face just in time so that his lips grazed my cheek instead of my lips.

"Hey Romeo. Get your fucking hands off her." I turned my head to see Faith standing in the doorway. I didn't know what she was doing there but I don't think I've been more happy to see anyone in my life. I squirmed out of Jack's grasp as Faith walked over and pulled me behind her.

"Who the fuck are you?" Jack asked.

Faith laughed in his face and said, "Take a good look jerkoff. I'm the one who's gonna kick your ass if you ever touch her again."

Jack's face started turning beet red. I don't think he's ever had a woman threaten him before. "Let's just go, Faith." I tried pulling her away before things escalated any further and she was just turning to leave when Jack said something else under his breath that I couldn't make out. Next thing I know, Faith's sitting on top of Jack and punching the crap out of him. The only thing going for Jack is that he's got about thirty pounds on Faith so he was able to throw her off. By that time, people were looking through the door and the more courageous or drunker among them were coming in to see what all the noise was about.

Faith and Jack were down on the floor, trying to rip each other apart. Someone started chanting "Fight" and pretty soon, everybody was chanting it. They rolled around a little before Jack pinned Faith beneath him and started punching her. Since nobody else seemed to want to stop it, I did the only thing I could think of. I hit Jack on the back of the head with the beer bottle I still had in my hand. The bottle broke and the beer flowed all over his head. He looked up with a dazed expression on his face and then Faith took advantage and punched him across the jaw.

He dropped like a sack of wet laundry on top of her. I grabbed the back of his shirt and helped her push him off as everybody started shouting, some cheering. Most of them had definitely been hitting the beer a bit too much tonight and I heard someone talking about calling the cops but there was a loud symphony of hisses and boos at that suggestion. I pulled Faith up and she wobbled slightly before steadying herself. Now that I had a good look at her, I could see the bloody cut next to her left eye and the cut on her lip. We navigated our way through the crowd with her leaning on me the whole way.

T came up to us as we came out of the kitchen and, without a word, helped us get out of the house. When Jessica came up and asked me what had happened, I told her I would tell her about it later and walked out the door. I tried to think of a bright side to this whole situation and my sick brain came up with the thought that at least I had found an excuse to leave and then I felt like a total heel for thinking something like that when Faith was leaning next to me, having gotten into a fight because of me.

T led us to his SUV which was parked a block away. His two other friends were following behind and when we got to the car, Faith leaned against the back door as T unlocked it and I helped her in before climbing in myself. T's girlfriend got into the back seat from the other side.

"What happened back there?" She asked, looking back and forth between Faith and me.

Faith touched the cut on her lip with the tips of her fingers. "It was no big deal, Casey. Just got in a fight."

"I can see that," Casey said. "Can you tell me why you got in a fight five minutes after we got there?"

"The prick deserved it." She looked around as the car started up. "Where are you driving T?"

T glanced up into the rearview mirror. "We're going to the hospital. That cut needs stitches."

"It's not that deep," she began to protest.

"Faith," I said, taking her arm. "Your blood is covering half your face. I'd say that's bad enough for stitches." She turned towards me and I could tell she was about to protest again so I put a finger on her lips to stop her. "You helped me. Now I'm going to help you. Is that cool?"

Her lips moved under my finger as she grinned weakly. "Five by five," she said, her lips grazing against my finger with each word. My heart sped up as I reluctantly pulled my finger away. Glancing behind Faith, I could see Casey staring suspiciously at me and I suddenly began feeling hot. This isn't the time to be thinking like this. It was the second time that day that I'd felt something passing between Faith and me. I wasn't sure what it was exactly, only that it was something that I'd never felt with another person before.

When we got to the hospital, T made it his job to take care of the paperwork in record time. I think he charged everything on his platinum card when Faith wasn't looking. So, fifteen minutes later, the four of us were sitting around in the waiting room waiting for Faith to get stitched up when T looked over at me and asked, "Are you all right?"

I had been playing with the can of coke he'd gotten me and I guess I must not have looked too good for him to ask. "I'm fine," I said, giving him a small smile. "I'm just..." I gestured helplessly around and he nodded in understanding.

"So what happened?" Casey asked a minute later. "To start the fight, I mean."

I cleared my throat before trying to explain. "Well, basically, Faith caught Jack acting like a drunken prick to me and she stepped in. We were going to just leave but Jack said something to her and the next thing I know, they're fighting on the floor." Casey looked like she wasn't entirely satisfied with the answer but she didn't pursue it. I looked down at the floor and wondered if I was satisfied with that answer either. Faith had known me barely two days but she'd already gotten in a fight because of me. But she seemed like the type of person to do that --- stick her neck out for her friends. Was that all it was though? And why was I fishing for a deeper meaning anyway? Faith was my friend. End of story.

So why was it that when she walked in a short while later, my heart sped up again? When did my heart ever speed up when any of my other friends walked in? She was smiling that signature cocky grin of hers as I walked up to her.

"Five stitches," were the first two words out of her mouth and she looked so damn proud of it that I had to laugh. Reaching out a hand, I turned her head to the side so I could get a good look at it.

T came up behind me and asked, "Faith, isn't there supposed to be a bandage covering that?"

Faith screwed up her face in distaste. "That bandage they put on it was too big," she said. "So I threw it away...Got a good look there, B?"

I smiled in embarrassment, realizing that I was still holding onto her face and I let go immediately which only made her chuckle in amusement.

****

After the hospital, we spent like an hour hanging out in the parking lot of a 24-hour minimart or something. Casey kept digging at me about the fight. I think she was just pissed that she didn't get to see it for herself so I offered to reenact it on T. She was all for it but T wouldn't let me get on top of him. It wasn't like I was really gonna punch him but he said he didn't believe me. Go figure.

Eventually, we left to go drop Buffy back off at her house. I was in the back, with my eyes closed and my head resting against the back of the seat, listening with half an ear as Casey talked about a band she wanted to go see perform. I grinned just hearing how hyped she was getting. When the car stopped, I opened an eye and turned my head to look at Buffy. Before I could open my mouth and say good-bye to her, she opened the door and pulled me out with her.

"Bye guys," she said. "Thanks for everything."

I shrugged, gave everyone a little wave through the window and let Buffy lead me into her house. "Hey B?" I whispered. "What's up?"

She turned around to look at me and, in the dark, I couldn't really see her face. "I was thinking -- actually, hoping that you'd stay the night again? I mean, if you don't want to, I could drive you back but --"

Her hands were warm in mine and I pulled her closer. "Nah, I'd love to stay, B. Not many people can stand having me around like you."

"Then those people must be crazy," she said softly. I wished I could see her face right then cause I wanted to see if she was joking. She didn't sound like she was joking and I couldn't think of anything to say to that. A few seconds later, she pulled me upstairs to her bedroom and opened the lights which seemed too bright all of a sudden. I went to sit on her bed while she searched through her closet for her PJ's. She already knew I slept in my underwear so I just began stripping. Off came the leather pants, then the denim jacket, and finally my top. I stacked them on a chair next to the door.

"You sure your mom won't -- " I stopped mid-sentence cause when I turned around, Buffy was just standing there, staring at me. "See something you like?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow.

She laughed nervously and then excused herself to go change. I thought I saw a blush creeping into her face as she practically ran to the door. I know I shouldn't have said it but the words were out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. Story of my life, really. My mouth gets me in trouble, my fists get me out of it. But if I were honest with myself, we'd been flirting back and forth the whole day. Nothing serious...at least, I don't think so. And, anyway, flirting with Buffy was fun. I was still figuring out the limits and how far I could push them.

Buffy walked back into the room just then dressed in a light pink top with a heart on the front and matching pink drawstring shorts. My eyes must've widened to twice their size cause as soon as she saw me, she asked, "What?"

I shook my head in awe. "You look so damn cute," I said.

She came over and punched me playfully on the arm. "I thought we made it clear today," she went on, going to sit on her bed. "*You're* the cute one in this relationship."

I folded my arms in mock indignation as she played with her stuffed pig. "If I'm cute, how come you're the one decked out in pink?" She opened her mouth to answer but nothing came out. I smirked as she closed her mouth and pouted. "Glad we got that clear," I said, laying down on the bed next to her.

"Mr. Gordo agrees with me," she said, sitting her pig on top of my chest.

"That's cause his brain's made of stuffing," I said, folding my hands under my head. "Isn't that right, Mr. Gordo?"

Buffy immediately snatched her pig away and whispered in one pink ear, "Don't listen to her. She doesn't know what she's talking about." She gave me another nasty look as I rolled my eyes, effectively giving my opinion on the matter. Then she reached across me to turn off the light on the desk. For a second there, I thought she was gonna crawl on top of me. For a second there, I wished she would. But she crawled under the covers instead and whispered "Good night."

"Night B," I said, getting under the covers myself.

When I woke up in the morning, or afternoon, or whatever the heck time it was, I found myself trapped under the body of a certain small blonde. Buffy was practically lying on top of me, her leg across mine, her arm across my chest, and her hand...her hand was on the side of my left breast. I was afraid to even breathe cause I didn't want her to wake up and find us like this --- that would be pretty damn embarrassing for the both of us. But how was I gonna get out of this without waking her?

I tried doing it one body part at a time, starting with the hand. Not that it wasn't nice right where it was but it was also distracting as hell and if I was gonna do this right, I had to focus. I almost had it all the way off when Buffy let out a groan and decided to wrap her arm even more tightly around my body. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling. I had to face it. This was not working.

Screw it. "B? Buffy?" I said, shaking her lightly on the shoulder. She groaned softly again as her eyes fluttered open and she picked her head up. "Hey," I said smiling. "Uh, I need to go to the bathroom." She looked confused for a second and then seemed to realize that I couldn't get up if she didn't move.

"Sorry," she said, smiling sheepishly and untangling herself.

"No problem," I said, getting up. "If I were sleeping next to someone as cuddly as me, I'd be lying on top of me too." I gave her a smirk as I walked out the door. By the time I got out of the bathroom and changed into something a little less skimpy, Buffy was already downstairs in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal in front of her. "Where's your mom?" I asked, getting a bowl.

"She's visiting her sister, my aunt," she said chewing around a mouthful of Lucky Charms. "She'll be back tomorrow."

I sat down next to her at the counter and poured myself some cereal but before I could take my first bite, the doorbell rang.

"It's 10:30," Buffy said, glancing at her watch. "Wonder who it could be?" She got up and walked to answer the front door. After a few minutes had passed and she still wasn't back, I drained the last of the milk and walked over to the living room where I could hear voices. There was some old guy in there with her but his back was to me so I couldn't make out a face. Buffy saw me in the doorway and waved me in. I went over to sit next to her and saw that the guy she was talking to had shaggy salt and pepper hair, and a craggy, longish face.

"Why don't you tell her what you just told me?" Buffy said with something like defiance in her voice.

His expression didn't change even as he spoke. "In every generation, there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. You, Buffy, are the Slayer." He sounded like he was reading from a script and the stuff he was saying sounded like it belonged in a comic book. "You don't believe me," he stated without missing a beat.

"I'm seriously beginning to regret the letting you in part," Buffy said drily.

"Turn on the TV to any news channel. It's already begun." He sat back and waited with his arms patiently folded. Eventually Buffy took the remote and did as he said. I was still keeping an eye on him in case he flipped out or something when the report on the television caught my attention.

"....tragic attack on a teenage party last night. It was held in the house behind me at the home of David Kines, an affluential defense attorney. According to police, the party was being hosted by his son, Paul when it was broken up by gangmembers, high on drugs. Witnesses say that some members of the gang were wearing grotesque masks. By the time this rampage was over, several party goers, including its host were dead and dozens more were wounded..."

Buffy had her hand covering her mouth and a look of complete, utter shock on her face. "No," she whispered, still staring at the TV. "What did you do?!" She shouted, angrily turning on the old guy.

"I didn't do anything," he replied, still with the same placid look on his face. "Most people willfully deny what they see with their own eyes. Those weren't gangmembers and they weren't wearing masks. They were vampires. And the people they've killed will rise. It is your job to see that they don't."

"I don't believe you," Buffy said, shaking her head. I moved closer to her and took her hand in mine. She threw me a grateful look.

"You don't want to." He leaned forward in his seat. "It's a natural reaction but we don't have time for this." In a lightning fast move I never would've pegged him capable of, he took something from inside his coat and threw it at me.

I barely had time to say, "Shit!" and bring my hands up when Buffy's hand appeared out of nowhere, grabbing whatever it was that the old guy had thrown at me. "What the fuck!" I stared at the wooden -- stake? -- which was an inch from my face.

"You see?" He said with a small smile. "No normal human would've been able to do that. You were made to fight vampires."

I couldn't decide whether to stare in shock or to show him what I thought of his cheap trick. "Do that again and I'll kick your ass. Old man or not," I said, almost growling at him. His head canted to the side and he mutely nodded.

"Do you believe me now?" He asked, looking at Buffy. I don't think Buffy really heard him cause she was still staring at the stake in her hand. "My name is Merrick," he continued on as if she had answered him. "I am your Watcher and as your Watcher, my job is to train you and prepare you as best I can so that you can realize your duty and fulfill your destiny." My head was spinning already and I couldn't imagine how Buffy was feeling. If this were real like it was starting to look like more and more, her life had just gotten a hundred times more complicated in a few short minutes.

I took Buffy's hand which was still holding the stake and pulled it down. "B, look at me. Are you all right?" Her eyes wandered up to mine, glazed and stunned. But even as I watched, they began clearing up, gaining a sharp, clear focus.

She held my gaze a moment longer and then turned back to Merrick. "What do I need to do?" I think that was the first time I'd ever heard her so serious and focused.

"You're stronger, faster, tougher than most humans but so are vampires," Merrick began. "First, you must learn how to kill them. What you hold in your hand is your greatest weapon. A wooden stake through the heart will kill them. Direct exposure to sunlight will roast them. Holy water and crosses will burn them. Tonight, we'll go to the morgue and stop the newly made vampires from rising and until then, I will train you."

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "But before we train, can I change out of this first? I don't think pink jamies are conducive to full workout conditions." She left the room, leaving Merrick and me to stare at each other.

"You might want to change too," he finally said.

"Why?"

"She needs a sparring partner and I'm too old for that." Even though I didn't quite believe him, I slowly got up and followed Buffy upstairs to change.

****

Vampires, demons, slayers. Who knew any of this stuff was real? Well, I guess I knew now. Merrick made me train nonstop all afternoon and for someone who looked as old as he did, he still put me down on my butt a couple of times. The only reason I put up with it as well as I did was because he showed me what I was capable of doing. The powers I have are so incredible and he says I've only just begun to scratch the surface. When I'd asked him where the powers had come from and why I didn't have them until now, he told me bluntly that a Slayer had to die to pass on her powers which kinda dampened the mood considerably. So, in addition to finding out that I was destined to fight demons and vampires for the rest of my life, I also find out that the rest of my life would probably not last too long anyway. What had Merrick said?

"Most Slayers don't live past their eighteenth birthday."

That statement sucked the wind right out of me. Eighteen? I'd just turned seventeen. Dying was some far off concept that had never had anything to do with my life but here it was being jammed down my throat and I couldn't do a thing about it. Faith had immediately wrapped me into her arms and even though it didn't change anything, it made me feel just a little bit better and I didn't let go until Merrick made it known that it was time to get back to training.

The only other interruption was when Jessica called. She'd been shaken up by the attack yesterday but aside from that, she was fine. But the same thing couldn't be said about Jenny, Paul, and a couple of other people from the party who'd been killed. When I heard that Jenny was one of the victims, I was shocked cause I'd seen her just a couple of hours ago. She had been alive and even though we weren't even friends, knowing she could be one of the vampires I'd have to stake tonight made me sick.

Once 7:00 rolled around, Merrick, Faith, and me were at the hospital, trying to inconspicuously sneak into the morgue. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering triple time from anxiety and fear. I could die tonight. If I messed up, Faith could die.

"Maybe, I should do this alone," I said to her again.

"Maybe you should." I felt relieved before she went on. "But you're not gonna. We're in this together, B. After all, I can't let you have all the fun." She grinned at me and I wanted to pull her to me and hold her as tight as I could because I knew she was as scared as I was but she wanted to act tough for me. I would've done it too if Merrick didn't choose that moment to come back.

"It's deserted," he said. "Let's go." He led us down to the basement and into a room with what looked like drawers or cabinet doors all around the walls. I knew that there were bodies behind each one and I tried not to shiver in the cool atmosphere. Merrick picked up a clipboard hanging from a nail in the wall and looked through the entries while Faith and I took out our stakes and stood there looking nervously around. I was half-expecting a vampire to pop out at any second and Faith looked like she was thinking the same thing too.

Merrick began opening one cabinet after another, pulling out the trays until he had five open. I had to remind myself to start breathing again after he pulled the first body out. It was Jenny. Naked, pale, and waxy, she laid there and I began to wonder if I could really do this. I clutched the stake tighter until my knuckles began turning white.

"Now we wait," Merrick said, sitting down in the only chair in the room.

We started out standing in the middle of the room but, pretty soon, Faith and I were both sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. We waited for fifteen minutes in silence. It just didn't seem right to talk in that room. Something along the lines of not disturbing the dead --- I guess that didn't apply to staking them though.

When I first saw one of the corpses twitch, I thought I was imagining things. When it twitched again, I jumped up and ran over. I raised the stake over its heart and glanced up to Merrick before jamming it into the corpse's chest. Its eyes opened wide before the whole body dissolved to dust. I couldn't even take a breath before it seemed like the whole room was full of walking undead vampires. They'd all risen and they were all pissed.

"Didn't get enough sleep?" I asked the vampire who had been Paul. He growled and his face changed. Ridges protruded from his brow and fangs extended from his mouth.

"I'll make you bleed," he said, drool dripping from the corners of his mouth. And then he charged, ramming his shoulder into my gut and bringing us both crashing to the floor. Before he could bite down on me, I brought my knees up and pushed him off. I scrambled to stake him before he could get off his back. Turning to look for Faith, I saw that she and Jenny were trading blows. With a running start, I jumped and kicked Jenny in the right kidney and Faith took the opportunity to stake her. We looked at each other for a few seconds after Jenny turned to dust and then Faith began laughing.

"Shit! That was fun." Rotating her shoulder gingerly, she added, "Wicked painful but still fun."

I went over to her side immediately. "You all right?" I asked.

"Five by five," she said with a grin and then turned to Merrick. "How'd we do for a first time old man?"

"You didn't die," he stated matter-of-factly. "Good start." Then he turned and left the room.

"Inspirational words indeed," I said with a smirk. Grabbing Faith's hand, I pulled her out. "Let's go before they make us dustbust this place."

After I dropped Merrick off at the motel he was staying at and listened to him lecture us the whole way about how the Slayer thing was this huge big secret which we shouldn't tell anybody about, I drove Faith back to her house. It was the first time I'd actually been to her house and as that thought crossed my mind, I also realized that I knew nothing about her family --- not if she had any siblings, not if she had any pets, not anything. And since she didn't invite me in when we got there, I was still in the dark about that stuff. I promised myself that I'd ask her about it tomorrow because I really wanted to know more about her. In fact, I wanted to know everything there was to know about her. Just thinking about seeing her tomorrow made me smile.

It was funny in a weird sort of way. Today, I'd found out I had a destiny I didn't even know about, that I was going to have to risk my life every night slaying demons, that my life would by all accounts end in a year and yet, when I walked through the door of my house, I still had a smile on my face. I spent the rest of the night finishing up some work for school, making myself a dinner of ready made frozen food which tastes about as bad as it sounds, and watching some TV. I was just about to call it a night and go off to bed when the front door opened and my dad walked in. His face lit up as soon as he saw me.

"Hey sweetie," he said, coming over and giving me a bear hug like he always did. "How's my favorite girl in the whole world?"

"Suffocating," I said as he let me go with a chuckle.

"I missed you, honey," he said, cupping my face in his hands. "I know I've been scarce lately but with the quarterlies coming up, they've been working me to the bone."

"I'm just glad to see you dad."

He pulled me into another hug. "I'm glad to see you too honey. How about some dessert?" He asked, releasing me. I could spot the twinkle in his eye from a mile away.

"Chocolate sundaes?" I asked, smiling.

"With whipped cream," he said, chuckling.

We glutted ourselves on ice cream and, as tradition dictated, wiped the bowls clean. By the time I shuffled off to bed, I felt like a walking sundae myself. But I was happy because it was my dad and I knew he loved me just as much as I loved him. Even if he hadn't been around lately, it didn't mean anything because I couldn't stay mad at him, no matter what he did. The only thing was that when I got into bed and cuddled up with Mr. Gordo, I wished Faith was there too. I'd kinda gotten used to having her around and now that she wasn't, I missed how safe and comforting I felt in her presence.

The first night she'd spent in my house, I'd woken up to my mom and dad's yelling and, like always, I just wanted the bed or the ground or something to open up and swallow me whole so I wouldn't have to hear it anymore. I was so sick of it all, I wanted to scream so that I could at least drown them out. That's when I heard Faith whimpering next to me. At first, I thought she was awake but then she started muttering. Over the yelling, all I could make out was her saying something about her dad and then she just kept saying please and begging and I wanted to roll over and comfort her or help her in some way but I couldn't move. All I could do was lay there and listen to my parents fighting and feeling totally useless. And when I thought I was going to go out of my mind, I felt a hand on my back. It was Faith. She helped me. She held me. And she didn't question or judge. So yeah, I miss having her here.

But I managed to get through the night and when morning came, I got ready to go to school again. Going through the same normal routine made everything else that had happened in the last twenty four hours seem even stranger than it already was. Dad wasn't there when I got up. He'd probably gone to the office already. I was hoping to see him before he left but I guess I'd have to get up way earlier to do that. The attack at Saturday's party was all over the news on the radio. So was what had happened in the morgue last night, only they didn't mention anything about vampires or us dusting them. No, they just thought it was the work of some crazy cult who had a thing for stealing the bodies of dead people...ewww, how gross is that?

The mood at school was pretty somber too. I found Heather and her group outside and some of the girls were sniffling and crying as they talked about what a tragedy it was and how much they were going to miss Jenny. When Jessica saw me, she pulled me into a hug and began crying on my shoulder.

"Oh God, Buffy. I still can't believe it. I keep expecting to see Jenny any minute even though I know she's dead."

I patted her on the shoulder and said all the things you're supposed to say in situations like that. Then Heather hugged me, though she didn't cry. She said we were going to hold an emergency squad meeting after school today before we all left for our first class. When I got to Mr. Drummond's class, Faith was already in her seat and I started feeling guilty about how happy I was to see her but the guilt disappeared as soon as she smiled that full out smile at me.

"Hey," I said, quickly sitting down.

"Hey yourself." Her customary piece of notebook paper was on the desk in front of her as was the pen I'd given her on that first day. Just seeing it in her hand put a silly grin on my face. And I knew it was a silly grin because she asked, "Why do you have that goofy ass grin on your face? Not that it's not cute and all but if it's cause I'm doing something goofy, you'd tell me right? I mean, you wouldn't just let me keep acting goofy without warning me, right?" She looked at me suspiciously and I just started laughing which drew the attention of the whole class. I clamped a hand over my mouth and looked to see that she was smirking.

"Thanks a lot," I hissed with a mock glare as Mr. Drummond started the class.

She gave me an innocent 'who me?' look and then totally ignored me and turned her attention to the front of the class. It was the usual boring lecture following the moment of silence we took for the deaths of the five people at the party and the collection of the reports we'd worked on during the weekend. As soon as the class ended though, I reached over and punched Faith on the arm.

"Ow, what was that for?" She asked with a wounded expression.

"To wake you up and because you made me look like an idiot earlier."

She grinned, folding her piece of paper and stuffing it into her pocket. "Thanks but I can't take all the credit." Before I could make the appropriate retort, she winked and took off, leaving me grinning my silly grin again.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. During lunch, I saw Faith and her group sitting near the far wall and I was tempted to go join them but Jessica was holding onto my hand and I couldn't get away. And maybe I wasn't ready to sever all ties with my clique yet. Even as innocuous as who you sit with during lunch can have tremendous ramifications for the rest of your social life --- during high school anyway. So I wasn't ready to forsake what I knew and what I was comfortable with even though I wanted to. The people I sat with were the only friends I'd known for so long that I was scared to lose them. Call me a coward. Faith seemed to understand what I was going through though because every time we caught each other's gaze, she'd give me a little smile which just made everything seem so much better.

When school ended, I was putting away some books in my locker when someone tapped me on the shoulder. Purely on instinct which I didn't even know I had until that moment, I whirled around and grabbed the wrist of whoever was standing behind me.

"Merrick, what are you doing here and why are you sneaking up on me?"

He shook my hand off and said with a droll e