Title: Summer Daze
Author: Lowdeen
Disclaimer: Faith, Buffy, all characters and the show all belong to Joss Whedon, Fox, and Mutant Enemy. The story contains implied love between two women, so if such things offend you, don't read it and upset yourself.
Spoilers: First Season
Author's Notes: Third in the Daze series. Alternate universe set up. Summer vacation. Names remain unchanged. Events don't.
Rating: R

Vacation. I've never really taken one, y'know. Sure, there's summer vacation coming every fucking year after school but that's not really a 'vacation' vacation. I've never packed up and gone anywhere to relax or unwind or whatever people do on their vacations. The only time I've packed up is to go from one foster home to another and that sure wasn't for relaxation. More like a forced migration like how those Indians were forced from their land again and again by the White man. And my teachers thought I never learned anything.

But despite that piss-poor history, here I am. On vacation. With Buffy.

The day we boarded the bus to come here, mom and Red and Xander had been there to see us off and if you didn't know any better, you'd think we weren't ever gonna come back. I guess I got a little watery eyed too but that was the worse I got. When we got to LA, some of Buffy's enthusiasm got dampened when her dad told her he'd be busy most of the time we were going to be here cause there was a lot of work he still hadn't caught up with. Buffy was totally devastated at first. You could see it on her face. I couldn't really care less if Hank was busy or not. It's not like I even knew the guy but I cared that Buffy was bummed.

I think she had this idea that all three of us could bond or something. I know she missed her dad. Her face lights up every time she talked to him on the phone. And now she finds out that all the plans she'd made have to be tossed out. Yeah, I'd feel like shit too. But she tries to hide it behind a smile that never actually reaches her eyes. Not the best way to start a vacation but it's been two weeks now and I think we're making the best of it. Buffy dragged me everywhere to do the sightseeing thing cause even though she's lived here most of her life, she's never been to all the tourist traps around this place. And I put up with being dragged around cause it made her happy and you're never going to see me pass up a chance of making her happy.

Especially now. I didn't even notice it at first but after the whole shebang with the Master where Buffy almost died, her behavior started changing. Real small change stuff at first like she started sleeping mostly in her bed which I didn't start noticing until I started missing her. I miss having her next to me when I go to sleep, when I wake up...I think I even miss her when I'm sleeping. It's crazy but I think, with Buffy around, the nightmares that I've had for as long as I can remember, aren't as bad. But I don't want to push her either. What would I say? That I need her to sleep in my bed again cause I don't want to have bad dreams anymore? I'm sure there's a reason why she doesn't. I just don't know what it is.

I glance up at her as she's digging into her salad which was the only thing she'd ordered for lunch. I'm sure I can convince her to get a dessert later but I don't know what's with this diet kick she's suddenly on. The girl's skinny enough already if you ask me. She looked up suddenly, catching my stare and smiled before quickly returning her attention to the lettuce. I took another bite out of the burger and looked around. We were sitting at an outdoor cafe after walking around half the day. I don't think I've ever walked around so much in my life for no specific purpose before. Being a tourist was harder than I thought it would. Just when I thought we'd been everywhere and gone to see everything around LA, Buffy would find something else she *had* to see.

It was kinda strange though. Two weeks we've been here and I would've thought she'd visit some of her friends but she hasn't even mentioned them. Not that I was disappointed. But, like I said, it still seemed strange.

"Faith?" I looked up and found her eyes on me. "Let's do something different tonight."

"Like what?" There was almost a sparkle in her eyes as she leaned forward.

"I thought maybe we could go out to a club," she said, her lips quirking into a grin. "Have some fun?"

I shrugged. "Sure, I could use a break from all this...touring." She grinned at me again and went back to her salad.

After a small dinner that night, Buffy went into her room and came out twenty minutes later in a killer outfit which I know I've never seen before cause if I did, I wouldn't have forgotten it. Damn, she was looking hot. Leather pants, black tube top, dark make up...shit, she's stealing my style and looking fine doing it.

"You like it?" She asked, leaning against the stair post and smirking up at me.

"You think I look at just anyone like this?" I asked with a wink. "Course I like it, B." She smiled full out at me and took my arm, pulling me out the door. I didn't know where we were going. Buffy was more familiar with LA than I was so I just let her drive us around until she parked the car after awhile. We walked about a block more until we got to this doorway guarded by some tall, skinny bouncer. I could hear the beats of the music coming in waves out the door and I felt my body starting to bounce along with it.

"ID?" The guy asked in a bored voice, holding out a hand. I was just about to try and bullshit him into letting us in when Buffy rooted through her back pocket and came out with two pieces of ID. I tried not to look too surprised. But how and when did she get those? The bouncer who I noticed had this greasy ponytail tied off with a orange rubber band handed them back after a quick glance and stepped aside to let us in. I couldn't really ask her where she'd gotten the ID's cause as soon as we stepped through the door, you couldn't hear shit except for the hard pounding music coming out of the speakers.

Buffy didn't even take the time to look around. She just grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor, elbowing her way through the crowd to get some room for the two of us. I guess questions could wait for now --- they'd have to. She slid her body close to mine, a wicked pouty expression lighting her face as she started grinding her hips in time with the music. I sucked in a quick breath, watching her and feeling her and I wondered where the hell this new Buffy had come from. But who the hell cared? I was definitely enjoying this. Halfway through the song, she turned around and backed into me, pressing against my chest. My breath started coming in tight like I'd just run the mile as she pulled my arms around her waist and kept on moving to the beat.

I smelled her shampoo, all fruity and clean with a hint of smoke clinging to it from the haze hanging in the air and I felt myself pulling her closer, burying my nose into her hair so her scent would surround me. Thinking about why I was doing what I was doing was about the last thing on my mind cause I was too damn busy just doing it. We danced through the next song and the next and the next until she finally dragged me off to the bar. Before I knew it, she'd shoved a drink into my hand and tossed back one of her own. I took a sip of mine just to see what she'd ordered. It was fucking strong, no ice, just alcohol and as I watched her looking at me with that 'I dare ya' look, I tossed it back, not even grimacing...not too much anyway. And even as I reached across some guy's shoulder to put the glass down on the counter, another drink was being pushed into my hand.

A couple more drinks and much more dancing later, we stumble out of the door which turned out a lot harder to get into than out of for some reason. I don't really know how or when we actually made it home only that I recognized Buffy's doorstep suddenly rushing up to meet my face.

"Faith...wha are ya doin' don there?"

It wasn't funny or anything but I started giggling. "You're drunk!" So this was what she was like when she got plastered. It was kinda cute how she kept slurring her words.

"S'not fun-hic-funny." I felt her hands pulling me up and I started giggling some more as she propped me against the door which we still hadn't been able to get through yet. "The key don work," she says with a pout holding out the key in question. I took it from her and stuck it in the hole on the first try. As she walked past me, I tried not looking too smug about it.

"Come 'ere," she says, grabbing my arm and pulling me through the door. I lost whatever balance I still had and stumbled into her, knocking both of us onto the floor. I started giggling again as I put my weight on my elbows so I wouldn't continue crushing her with my body and looked down into her smiling face. I wish I could say that one thing led to another but I didn't even see the 'thing' until I --- *we* were kissing. Not little pecks on the cheek that barely make contact, not brief brushing of lips against skin, no. This was full on, lips crushing lips, tongues brushing tongues deep, thorough kissing. It felt so good with her pressed up against me. So much like when we were dancing, only better.

It felt so good...that I had to break away cause this was Buffy frigging Summers, my stepsister, my best friend, and the most important girl in my life. And so we laid there, sobering up real fast and staring at each other like we were strangers. Shit, but I could still see the desire in her eyes. Shit, she could probably see the same thing in mine. She nudged me off and sat up. After a few moments of silence where we tried to do everything but actually look at each other, she got to her feet, muttered a good night and hurried upstairs. I just sat there until I heard her bedroom door slamming, wondering what the fuck had happened.

At least her dad was off on some five day business thing and didn't trip over me as I sat there. At least he didn't trip over us while we were making out on the floor.

Nah, that didn't make me feel better. I finally got up, still having made no sense of what had gone down and walked upstairs. I almost knocked on her door as I past by before I realized that I had no idea what to say to her. When I got into my own room, I flopped down onto the bed and as much as I wanted to figure out everything in my mind, straighten it out, the booze started kicking in again and a heavy fog started creeping in my head.

When I woke up sometime the next day, I felt like total shit warmed over and I wondered, like all the other times I'd woken up like this, why I drank so damn much to begin with. After I pried myself out of bed and took a shower, I wandered downstairs and stepped into the kitchen only to find Buffy there already. She looked up with a cup of coffee in her hands and a 'deer in the headlights' look on her face. We stood there, looking at each other until I found my legs involuntarily walking towards her.

"Hey," she says, her face lifting up slightly to look at me before dipping back down to stare at her coffee again.

"Hey," I said, reaching around her to get a mug when she quickly moved away like something had bitten her. If there was any part of me that thought everything would be all right in the morning, this pretty much dashed that idea against a pile of sharp rocks. She tried to act like nothing had happened, that she hadn't just reacted from the gut and moved away because I was getting too close. I continued to pour myself a cup of coffee as I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, wondering what she could be thinking about. Was she disgusted, scared, uncomfortable and dying to tell me but not sure how, to get the hell out of her house? Of her life? I took a sip and winced at the bitter, strong taste of the black coffee.

"Faith?" I looked up and saw her watching me with an unreadable expression. She gestured towards the living room and I followed her even though everything inside me was telling me to run away as fast as I could. I sat down as far away from her as I could even though we were sitting on the same sofa and wondered if I should say something or if I should wait for her. "I guess we got pretty wasted last night." I guess that solved that.

"Yeah." It was hard moving my mouth around to say even that one word. Harder still trying to move my eyes away from the coffee I was holding in my hands to look up at her. I heard her sigh out loud and then move towards me until we were sitting side to side.

"Faith," She said again after another minute. "Why won't you look at me?"

I tore my eyes away from the fascination that was the coffee and turned around to look at her.

"I...I don't really remember exactly what happened last night," she started to say, her eyes drifting down into her lap.

"We kissed," I helpfully supplied. For some reason, it came out harsher than I meant it to. I noticed that her shoulders tensed immediately and I wanted to reach over and comfort her but my hands stayed where they were.

After a long moment, she finally looked up at me again. "It was the alcohol," she stated coolly. "Let's just pretend like it never happened, all right?" Without even waiting for me to say anything, she got up and went upstairs. I had this overwhelmingly bad feeling that nothing was ever going to be the same between us again.

****

Faith burst into my room fifteen minutes and twenty three seconds after I left. I know because I was staring at the clock the whole time. After she burst in, she just stood there uncertainly as if she couldn't think of what to do next now that the dramatic entrance was done with.

"No," she finally said, looking at me. "No," she said again with more emphasis. "We're not going to 'pretend like it never happened' cause that's just fucking dumb."

I sat on the bed and stared at her until she started shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. "Do you have a better idea?" I asked, letting her off the hook for now. She came further into the room and sat down next to me, close enough for me to feel the heat coming off of her. I wanted nothing more than to forget about last night but Faith was right. We couldn't forget it and if we kept trying to push it away like nothing had happened, that would just serve to drive a wedge between us which was the last thing I wanted to happen. God, what had gotten into us last night? Yeah, the alcohol probably had something to do with it but...was that it?

"Did you like it?"

"What?" I looked over at her and saw that she was staring intently at me.

"Did you like the kiss?" She asked, clarifying the question.

"I..." Why did she have to ask that? She knew the answer already. "That doesn't matter, Faith. We were drunk, we didn't know what we were doing and things just happened but I really don't want that to affect our friendship."

"See but there's where I lose ya, B." She grinned suddenly, shifting on the bed so her body was facing me. "I don't see how that's not gonna affect us cause, tell you the truth, I liked it." She looked as surprised by that as I was. "I liked it a lot," she repeated, her brows starting to furrow as she thought about that some more. Her eyes turned to mine again and I knew she was expecting me to say something but my mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nothing came out even though I wanted to tell her that it was the same with me. Her hand moved from her side towards the side of my face, hesitating before it cupped my cheek. "I liked it, B," she whispered.

If I were going to say something, this would have been the perfect time to do so but instead, my hand came up to cover hers and I felt myself leaning forward, my eyes flicking between her eyes and her lips. If I did this...if we did this, we wouldn't be able to blame it on the alcohol or anything else for that matter because we were just us. Faith and Buffy, stone cold sober and about to kiss. Her head dipped down and her eyes lidded halfway closed as our lips met again, tasting each other, remembering the sensations. As we deepened the kiss, I felt her hand slip out from under mine and wound around the back of my neck, pulling us even closer together.

She pulled away first, a look of wonderment suffusing her face. "Shit, B," she managed to say with the beginnings of a grin. "That was fucking great."

I felt the smile spreading across my own face. Everything started making sense now --- from the reason why I was so jealous of Cordelia in the beginning to why my heart did a little flip every time I saw Faith. I loved Faith. I'd known that for a long time already but I never consciously thought about *loving* her. I only wondered now how I could have been so dense about it before.

"You don't see me complaining," I said with a smirk. Looking at her as she continued grinning at me, I had the sudden positively overwhelming urge to kiss her again and I didn't even try to suppress it. You could say, I went with the flow as I moved towards her again and captured those softly sweet lips, tasting them once again. It was a sensation that I don't think I would ever tire of. Her arms wound around my waist, pulling me onto her lap and her hands began roaming across my stomach and back.

I heard as well as felt her groaning as she firmly but gently pushed me away a few minutes later. My eyes opened slowly, wondering what the problem was. "We need to talk," she said, wincing at the use of the words. I almost laughed at her distasteful expression because usually, I would be the one saying them but I settled for a raised eyebrow. She blew out a soft breath as if to settle herself before speaking. "I love you, B...I mean, I *really* love you."

I smiled softly at her. "I really love you too."

She beamed at me and I felt as if my insides were turning to goo. "For me, this is for real, y'know?" She asked with a suddenly serious expression. "This is the first time it's been for real. Cause no one's even come close to being as important to me as you are, B." She shook her head. "Fuck. Not even close and I'd kill myself before I messed that up."

I stopped her, placing a finger against her lips which were just begging for me to kiss again. But, this time, I restrained myself. "What makes you think you'll mess anything up, Faith? I don't know where you got this idea that you're a screw up. Could a screw up save my life? Our friends' lives? Could a screw up make me feel like the happiest person in the world? Because you did all those things and more so you can't be a screw up. I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes," I said, holding her face in my hands. "If you don't trust yourself, trust me. Would I let you mess anything up?"

She slowly shook her head with uncertainty still in her eyes. It didn't matter that she didn't totally believe me now because I would convince her. Recapturing her lips and pouring all of my love into that kiss, I had no doubt about that. I wound up trailing soft kisses across her jaw and down her neck, causing her to make a noise that sounded very much like a purr.

"You do that real well, B," she said, pulling me up so she could gaze into my eyes. She shook her head again, this time in disbelief. "I can't believe I'm actually kissing you." She ran a hand through my hair, her eyes sparkling.

"Have you...ever thought about it before?" I averted my eyes as I felt the hot blush starting to creep up my neck. I don't know why I was embarrassed asking this question. I'd just spent some serious minutes kissing this girl senseless and now I'm embarrassed about asking a question?

"You mean kissing you?" I looked up and saw that she had a playful smirk on her face. I squirmed, threatening to get off her lap and she immediately pulled me tighter and chuckled lightly.

"I'm just joking with ya, B," she said with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry," she added, giving me a puppy dog look that not only cracked me up with its utterly schmoozy sincerity but made me melt as well.

"So, answer the question," I repeated, trying to get her back on track.

"I thought about it, yeah," she said, giving me a quick peck on the chin. "But every time I thought about it, I felt like it was wrong or something so I always tried to think of something else. Thing was though, I kept thinking about it. Tried not to but..." She shrugged one shoulder. "Didn't work."

"Is that your idea of sweet talking a girl?" I asked with a smirk.

"Depends. Is it working?" She answered with her own question, wriggling her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"In a bizarre kind of way, I think it is." That was enough for her to smile that cocky, smug expression she had that would infuriate anyone else but I just grinned right back at her before resting my forehead against hers. I hadn't felt this happy or...safe in a long time. I'd been in love with her for so long but to actually acknowledge it to her and to myself was like a heavy load had been taken off my shoulders. I knew there were going to be problems. What else was new? My mom, the Scooby Gang, Giles, the fact that we're both girls were all problems that we'd have to deal with. But for now, all that mattered was that we were together and that it felt so right.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," Faith wistfully muttered, pulling me into a hug that seemed to do just that, last forever.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in the house. And unlike what everyone else might think when they hear me say that, we didn't just jump in the sack and go at it like bunnies. It wasn't so much that I didn't want to. Strangely enough, it didn't even come up. I think we both wanted to take this slow because that's basically what we've done since the beginning. After all, it took us a year to even get to the point of kissing. And anyway, I just love Faith way too much to rush into anything.

I watched as she hung up the phone and walked back to the sofa. "Pizza's gonna be here in thirty minutes," she said, sitting down so I could rest my head in her lap again.

"What would we ever do without takeout?" I asked, rhetorically.

"Probably eat cold cereal for dinner," she said in all seriousness with a faraway look in her eyes.

I sat up at the changed tone in her voice and hesitated only a second before wandering into an area of discussion which had been off limits between us before. "Tell me something about yourself before we met?" I asked, holding my breath.

She slowly blinked before looking over at me. "What'd you want to know?"

"Anything," I immediately answered. "I just want to know everything about you. I always have, Faith."

She grinned humorlessly. "Well, you're the first, B. There's not much to tell really. Usual sob story --- dad died when I was seven. Mom died a couple of months later. So I've been on my own for nine years. No relatives I know of, at least none that'll take me in and it's just as well cause I didn't want no pity party. And the rest...you know the rest. I stay with some foster crap family for three or six months max and I get kicked around to the next lucky family. That's about all there is to know about my life, B. Nothing ever went good until I met you."

I rested my head on her shoulder. I knew it was so much more than that but was I going to risk pushing it? I never had before because I didn't want to push her away. I didn't want to make an issue out of it but now, I wanted to know so she wouldn't have to feel like she was alone in this world, that she had to shoulder her past all by herself. "Faith," I began, hoping this was the right move to make. "I know about your nightmares." I felt her stiffen immediately but I kept on talking because I knew if I hesitated, that would be the end of it. "You keep dreaming about your father, don't you? Of how he died --"

"Fuck, B!" She shouted, abruptly standing up, facing away from me. "Can't you just leave it alone? Can't you just fucking accept the fact that I'm not going to feel like sharing every stupid little thing that happens in my life with you?"

"But this isn't a stupid little thing," I said softly, standing up as well. "If it were, you wouldn't keep dreaming about it almost every single night. I just want to help you, Faith."

She turned towards me, her face fixed in an expressionless mask that nevertheless threatened to crack at the slightest provocation. "There's a very simple way you can help me. Leave it alone." Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she turned on her heel and loped up the stairs, leaving me standing in the living room.

****

I heard her outside the door and I knew she was going to come in. It was just a matter of how long it took for her to get up the nerve. Why did she have to bring it up though? What was the point of rehashing old news when there was so much other stuff we could have done that would have been so much more enjoyable? I laid on my side with my back to the door so I didn't see her coming in, only hearing the doorknob turning. She didn't say anything and I tensed up waiting for her to start talking about it again.

But she didn't. I felt her laying down on the bed and then spooning me from behind. Her arm wrapped around my waist and took my hand in a comforting grasp. That only made me feel worse as I screwed my eyes shut, not wanting to see anything but darkness. My jaw was clenched so tight that I thought like I was prying open a steel trap when the first words burst out of my mouth like machine gun shots.

"He was a nice guy. Couldn't ask for a better dad actually. And I loved him. I loved the damn bastard." I took a shuddering breath and felt Buffy pulling me in tighter. I took another deep breath and continued because I couldn't stop now. Not after I'd started. "I was always daddy's little girl. He used to call me his little firecracker cause I was always getting into trouble." I thought back to all the times I'd almost gotten killed or maimed cause I wouldn't listen to anyone but the little devil on my shoulder and I had to laugh out loud at how incredibly dead I should be right now. "But if I were a firecracker, then he was the fucking A-bomb just begging for someone to drop him. The guy loved his gambling. He would bet on anything --- dogs, horses, football, baseball, anything you could think of betting on, he was there...and so was I cause he'd drag me with him. Hell of a lot more fun than staying home though. But he wasn't very good at what he did. The night he died..." I stopped, trying to choke down the lump in my throat. It still seemed like it'd just happened yesterday and the pain was still fresh, sharp and intense. "I was with him. I watched as they beat him to death." My stomach clenched and I thought I was going to throw up as I saw it happening again in my mind. His eyes. That's what always haunts me so much. They were begging for help but I couldn't give him any. I couldn't do anything.

"Faith, it's all right," Buffy whispered from behind me. But she was wrong. It wasn't all right. It never would be. That's when I noticed I was shaking from trying to hold in the tears. But I just couldn't do it anymore. I'd been holding it back for nine years and I just couldn't do it. So I cried. And when I was finally done, when it felt like every fucking drop had been wrung from my body, I didn't feel any better. Only exhausted and empty. Eventually, I fell asleep with Buffy still wrapped around me, still holding me, still loving me.

And when I woke up, I was the one holding her. Shit, how did I ever get this lucky? No matter what I tell her, no matter how bad it is, she's always there for me and for the life of me, I couldn't tell you why. I pulled back a little, propping my head up on one hand so I could look at her better. She's so beautiful and I grin a little just looking at her sleeping so peacefully.

But then, just like that, she starts whimpering and going spastic. So the first thing I do is reach over, trying to calm her down or something. That turned out real bad cause I got a smack in the face for my trouble.

"Son of a -- " I started to say, my hand covering my stinging nose.

"Faith?" I looked over and saw that Buffy was blinking up at me with a confused expression on her face. "What's going on?"

My eyes went wide as I tried my hardest not to scream 'you hit me' at the top of my lungs. Instead, I growled out "It seems like I'm not the only one that has bad dreams."

Her own eyes began to widen as her mouth opened slightly. "Wh-what?"

I pulled my hand away, making sure there wasn't any blood coming out of my nose before looking back at her. "You know what I'm talking about, B."

She looked as if she was going to try and deny it but then her shoulders slumped and her eyes dipped down to stare at the bed covers.

"If you don't want to talk about it," I began to say more gently only to have her cut me off.

"No, I do. I don't even know why I've been trying to hide it."

It wasn't that hard to put one and one together. "Was that why you stopped sleeping with me? Because you didn't want me to know?"

She nodded and then crawled over, resting her head against my chest as I wrapped my arms around her. I waited for her to talk, knowing firsthand how hard it is to get those first words out when all you want to do is curl up and forget about it. "I...I keep having nightmares about how I died," she finally said in a hush. "Everybody keeps telling us that Slayers don't live too long and I've accepted that. At least I thought I had but I'm just not dealing." She looked up at me and I had no idea what to say to her. It was a fact of the job and even though I hated it, there wasn't anything I could do about it.

"B, I would die to keep you safe." I meant every word cause there was no doubt in my mind that she was more important to me than my own life.

But she shook her head. "No, that's not...that's the last thing I want, for you to die. It's just that every time I close my eyes, I see *him* and every morning, I wake up, I see my own death playing over and over in my head...It scares me, Faith."

I winced at her admission cause I felt the same way. It scared the shit out of me when I came out of that tunnel and saw her lying facedown in a pool of water. It scared me every time I thought about how close it had been. A few minutes more and I wouldn't be holding her in my arms right now. A few minutes more and I wouldn't have her in my life...ever. I drew her closer, reminding myself that Buffy was very much alive and that this cold grip on my heart will go away if I keep her close. "I won't let anything happen to you," I whispered, knowing that I would do everything in my power to keep that promise.

She tilted her head up and gave me a weak grin. "I trust you, Faith," she said before giving me a soft kiss on the lips. "And the same goes for me. I won't let anything happen to you either."

"See," I said with a raised eyebrow and a cocky grin that was just this side of shaky. "We already have a leg up on every other Slayer in history. We've got each other as back up. Demons better watch themselves."

"I love you," she said all of a sudden, out of the fucking blue, making me feel all mushy inside. "You always make me feel better and I love you so much..." She kissed me again, deeper this time, probing, almost as if she was making sure that we were real, that this was for real. And I made certain to show her exactly how real I could be.

It seemed like every time I kissed her, I couldn't get enough. And every single time made me realize how incredibly lucky I'd gotten. It was almost like winning the lottery. How fucking lucky can one person get? I keep thinking this is a dream I'll wake up from but hell, as I remember it, my dreams never went this well.

But just when I was really getting into it, Buffy suddenly pulled away. "What is it?" I asked, wanting nothing more than to pull her back.

"The car!"

"What car?" What was she talking about?

"My dad's car! The one I drove to the club."

Oh that car. I don't know if I should've been disturbed that she's thinking about a car when we're lip locking or not but I watched, still sitting on the bed as she jumped up and took off through the door like a maniac. I figured it was about time I got dressed so I began changing and I was just putting on my socks when Buffy ran back into the room, looking not a little mental.

"It's not here!" She shouted. "The car's not here. My dad's going to kill me."

"B, it's not a big deal," I said, lacing up my boots. "It's probably still where you parked it last night. We'll just go back and pick it up."

"Yeah, you're right," she said, nodding a bit too enthusiastically. "It's got to be there...God, I hope it's there." She almost dragged me down the stairs before I could remind her that shoes could only help her appearance which earned me a sheepish grin and another sprint back to her room to get some sneakers.

We took car service back to the club and all during the ride, Buffy was literally on the edge of her seat. Meanwhile, I was sitting back, wondering how we *did* make it back home last night, seeing as neither one of us could have driven a shopping cart drunk on our asses like we were. Maybe we walked. Nah, that was kinda hard to imagine. But it was like one of those questions that keeps gnawing at the edges of your brain until you felt like you were going to go crazy if you didn't get an answer soon.

"Hey, B?" She turned towards me with a worried expression still on her face. "Do you remember how we got home last night?" She opened her mouth as if to answer but then she scrunched up her brows.

"I don't know," she finally said. "The last thing I remember before we got to the doorstep was thinking how great your butt looked in leather."

"That's kind of a given," I said, straight faced.

She smirked but seemed to relax from her tense as a board position. "But putting that aside for now...I don't know." She shrugged her shoulders. "Honestly, I can't remember how we got home."

"Shit, B. I can't believe this is turning out to be some kind of Unsolved Mystery."

"We can worry about that later. Right now, let's focus on the real issue here. If I lose my dad's car, my ass is grass and I'll be grounded for the rest of my life which means no more parties, no more fun, no more social life..." She lowered her voice and leaned into me slightly. "No more sexy dances with you."

"We can't have that," I said in the same tone of voice, licking my lips slightly to see her reaction which was almost immediate. Her eyes dilated and she got this innocent girl look on her face that was undercut with a little knowing grin.

What the fuck.

I jumped her right there. Screw the fact that we weren't alone. Cause ain't no way I'm sitting still when Buffy's got that gorgeous expression written across her face. And she tastes so sweet. I don't think I'll ever get enough of her. But when my hands start to wander under her shirt, she pulls away from me, making these embarrassed noises in the back of her throat.

I look over at the driver and saw that his eyes were glued to the rearview mirror. "Hey, dude. You wanna not get us all killed and keep your eyes on the damn road?"

Buffy takes my hand and gives me an apologetic grin. "Later," she promised.

I hope she knows I'm going to keep her to that.

****

"I remember this is exactly where we parked, Faith," I said irritably, going out of my mind that she even asked if I was sure this was where I'd left the car the night before. Of course I was sure. "This is where I parked and it's not here anymore." I looked at my watch and it was already around ten. All I could think about was all the various and sundry ways my dad would kill me when he came back home.

"Okay, then we'll have to report it missing. Let's go." Faith took me by the elbow and climbed back into the car, already telling the driver to get us to the nearest police station.

All I could do during the whole ten minute ride over was stare out the side window and wonder how I could explain this without seeming totally irresponsible. It couldn't be done, I finally realized. Whichever way I spun it, my dad would be disappointed and angry with me. I don't see him for five months and when I finally come and visit, this is how I choose to leave him? Good job, Buffy.

Faith paid off the driver and motioned for me to get out. "You all right, B?" She asked, looking at me with concern.

"Yeah," I said because 'No, I think I'm having a nervous breakdown' just didn't have that same assuring tone of sanity.

It didn't really take that long to file a report and have the officer tell us that there was a slim to none chance they'd find the car with each hour that passed. So when we walked out of the station, I felt even worse than when we'd walked in which I thought wasn't possible but that just shows how naive I was.

We waited outside for car service to come pick us back up and I was so out of it that I didn't even notice at first when Faith stepped behind me and wrapped her arms around my body in a secure embrace.

"What's this for?" I asked, turning my face slightly.

"Just hoping it'd make you feel better. Is it?" She asked, kissing me on the cheek.

I leaned back, letting the feeling of security and love seep through my skin. "Much better," I said, blowing out a soft breath of air and letting myself finally relax a little.

"Don't worry too much about it, B," she said after a moment. "I'm sure everybody's done something like this at least once in their life. We're teenagers, remember? We have a certain leeway when it comes to doing stupid things we regret."

"I think all of my leeway was used up when I burned down my school's gym."

After a moment, she said with her head resting on my shoulder, "He's probably forgotten all about that by now."

I turned around in her arms and looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. "You're kidding, right?"

A grin slowly began to form on her face. "Sometimes, it's better to look for the bright side of things."

"I don't have to look for it. She's standing right in front of me." She looked surprised and then gave me the brightest smile, easily lighting up her face and mine. She looked so beautiful then. Like an angel...my angel. I bought my arms up, wrapping them around her neck and hugged her, surrounding myself in her warmth. I didn't ever think we were going to be so comfortable around each other again, especially after what had happened last night. I almost laughed out loud at the thought. Just look at us now. Hugging in the middle of the sidewalk and not a shred of awkwardness between us. Then again, you couldn't slip a piece of paper between us either.

We got home at around twelve after first stopping off to get something to eat. We never did get around to eating that pizza we ordered earlier. Faith had still been asleep when it'd been delivered and I hadn't wanted to wake her up. I walked over to the answering machine, futilely hoping the police had called with good news while we were still out. No such luck. Flopping down onto my side on the couch, I let my legs hang over one armrest and stared off into space, trying not to think about anything at all. I heard Faith going up the stairs and suppressed the small hint of resentment that she hadn't come in here to be with me instead. But that wasn't really fair. She'd listened to me whine and bitch for the last few hours and she'd been there the whole time. If she wanted some time alone now, I couldn't really blame her.

My eyes had slid shut by the time I heard footsteps coming back down the stairs. A small grin lifted up the corners of my mouth when Faith walked back into the room and squeezed onto the couch behind me. Her body was exuding a palpable heat and I could smell the fresh, clean scent coming off her skin, probably from the shower she'd just taken.

"You miss me?" She asked, her breath blowing warm against my ear.

I chuckled, taking her hand and wrapping her arm around my waist. We laid there in perfect silence, just enjoying each other's presence. I thought back over the eventful day we'd just spent together. It seemed like everything that could have happened, had. But we had gotten through it and I couldn't have been happier...discounting the car thing of course. Faith pressed closer into my back and nuzzled the crook of my neck, making me forget all about the car.

"I never thought I'd feel like this about anybody," she said suddenly with a breathless sigh. "For the first time in my life, I'm happy and it's all because of you." She paused for a moment and then continued. "I just wanted you to know that, B. I want you to know how much you've already shaped my life. Everything good in me is because of you."

I would have said something but I was too surprised. Where had this admission come from? After a long moment of silence where I tried getting a handle on the emotions running rampant through my mind, Faith started tensing behind me and I knew she was starting to feel insecure that I hadn't said anything yet. "I can't believe how much I love you right now," I choked out, feeling a wetness forming in my eyes. The tension immediately left her body as she molded herself against my back.

I don't know exactly how long we stayed like that in our own little world but the next thing I groggily remember was being held securely in Faith's arms as she carried me upstairs. I grinned now, remembering just how warm and safe I had felt in those arms but as I stretched out on my bed, feeling out with one hand, I came up with nothing but cool blankets that softly whispered under my palm. "Faith?" I rasped out through a sleep addled voice. After getting no response, I opened my eyes, squinting at the light pouring into the room from the window. I rolled my head to the side and confirmed what my other senses had already told me. I was lying alone in bed and the clock by the bedside table showed that it was already eleven. "Faith?" I called out louder.

After a moment, there was the scuffleed sound of hurried footsteps on the stairs. A second after that, Faith popped into my room and immediately hopped onto the bed, pinning me loosely underneath her body. She had a wide grin on her face as she looked down at me.

"Whaddup B?"

I knew a matching grin was already on my face as my hands began wandering slowly up and down her sides. "You seem to be particularly chipper today. Maybe I should ask *you* what's up."

She lowered her face until her cheek was almost touching mine. "Can't a girl be in a good mood...especially since she's got her girlfriend pinned underneath her on the bed."

I grinned wider and if she could've seen it, she would have known I was up to something. Using a move I'd learned a while back when dealing with a particularly tough vamp who'd gotten me in this exact same position, I gathered all the leverage I could get and flipped the both of us so that I ended on top, pinning Faith's body underneath my own this time.

"Now who's in a good mood?" I asked with a wicked grin.

After a brief flash of surprise, Faith smiled again but instead of answering, she just wrapped her arms around my waist and urged me closer.

"What were you doing?" I asked, my hand lightly tracing the arch on her left eyebrow.

"Out for a run," she said, cocking the eyebrow in question. That's when I noticed she had on her official Sunnydale HS athletic shorts and T-shirt which were both liberally covered in sweat.

"Ewww." I wrinkled my nose and tried pulling away but her hold around my waist remained firm as she started chuckling.

"You didn't seem to mind too much before I told you."

"Before you told me, I was still half asleep. Now, I'm fully awake and all my senses are telling me you stink." I pulled away again and this time, I succeeded.

"I'm heartbroken, B," she blandly said, still laid out on the bed as if she had absolutely no intention of moving. "I thought you loved me --- sweat, grime, and all. You've burst my bubble and now, if you don't mind, I'll be spiraling into my own little state of depression."

"If that's anywhere near the state of irritation, maybe you can come and visit me." I continued staring at her until she finally threw up her hands in surrender and rolled off the bed with a lackluster air.

But as she passed me on the way out the door, she added, playfully, "You wouldn't want to join me, would you?"

I gently but forcefully pushed her out the door, suppressing the grin that threatened to pop up my face. Just as I propelled her into the bathroom, the phone began ringing and I ran down the stairs, taking the steps two at a time to get it before it reached the sixth ring. "Hello?"

"Hello. Can I speak with Miss Summers please?"

"Speaking."

"Miss Summers. This is Officer Ryan. You reported a missing car yesterday?"

"Yes." My heart started speeding up at the mention of the car.

"The good news is, we've found it..."

There was a pause and I closed my eyes, feeling the pain starting to creep into the back of my skull. "And the bad news?" I asked, as if I really wanted to know.

"...I think you'd better come down to the lot."

****

"It, uh, could've been worse." Damn. That sounded so lame, I almost bit my own tongue off trying to push it out. I glanced over at Buffy who was still frozen to the spot, her eyes fixed on the car, or what was left of it. If there was a vehicular heaven, her dad's sweet ride was definitely there right now. The hubcabs were gone. So were the wheels, the radio, the doors, the hood, the engine. The only thing left that hadn't been pried off was the license plate which had been how the police were able to identify it in the first place. Even the damn hood ornament was gone. What pathetic fuck would take a hood ornament anyway?

"Faith?" I looked over at her again, grimacing at the hollow tone of her voice. "Please tell me this is some awful nightmare and that I'm going to wake up any minute."

I gave her a sympathetic look but kept my mouth shut. She closed her eyes and groaned low in her throat. That's when I happened to catch the deskjock cop behind her checking out her ass. I gave him a hard look once his eyes dipped back up and I moved closer to Buffy, wrapping an arm around her waist, giving him a silent warning that he'd better not do anything more than look. Buffy rested her head on my shoulder then turned her face, nuzzling into my neck as if searching for comfort.

"C'mon. Let's get out of here," I said, rubbing a hand soothingly across her back. She nodded her head and we followed the cop back upstairs where we were supposed to fill out some paperwork. "I'll be right back," I said, letting her take care of that as I wandered a couple of doors away where I thought I'd seen a soda machine. Instead of finding a coke though, I came face to ratfink face with a sleazebag that I thought I'd seen the last of two years ago.

He sat on a wooden bench and if you didn't know better, you'd think he was lounging in the park, enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon by how relaxed he looked. The handcuffs kinda burst the bubble to that illusion though. He had on a black leather jacket, dusty black jeans, and a white turning to gray T-shirt --- all well-worn, all making him look like the perfect image of a wannabe James Dean. He'd filled out some since the last time I'd seen him, his hair a little shaggier, a five o'clock shadow showing around his jaw, and his eyes still the same electric blue that'd made me fall for him when I was younger and dumber.

"Faith," he said, a smile starting to spread across his face as he cocked his head to the side to look up at me. "Long time no see, baby."

"Fuck you, asshole," I snarled back. It only made his smile wider. I knew it would.

"What's with the grouchy greeting? You act like I killed your old man or something. Don't you remember the good times me and you had?"

My hands fisted at my sides, wanting to punch a hole in the smug bastard's face. "The only thing I remember is that you tried to pimp me out to your friends, Troy. I'm not that stupid little girl who followed you around like a dog anymore. I'm not your fucking whore, you sick shit."

"Faith?" I looked down the hall and saw Buffy walking towards us, a concerned expression on her face.

"Who's the schoolgirl? I bet she's a wild one in bed." I turned and lifted him up by the front of his collar. I saw the fear the instant it entered his eyes and grinned, enjoying it, enjoying the power.

"I'll cut off your fucking dick and stuff it down your throat if you come near me or her," I hissed in his ear, making sure that my voice was low enough so that only he would hear me. I shoved him back down, hard enough to make him smack the back of his head against the concrete wall. Walking towards Buffy and cutting her off with a hard look before she could ask, I took her arm and led her back to the front of the station. When we were outside, she stopped, refusing to move. She remained silent until I finally looked up at her. I was dreading the words coming out of her mouth before she even said them.

"Faith, who was he?"

I blew out a frustrated breath, breaking into a half grimace, half grin. Of course she'd want to know. "A prick," I said, looking her in the eye and making sure she knew I was dead serious about that.

"Faith..."

I rubbed a hand across my face. "What do you want me to say, B? He's a fucking asshole who I thought I was in love with before I grew a brain." I shook my head, still not believing how gullible I'd been, falling for a creep like him. "Can we not talk about him please? He was a bad mistake and talking about him makes me sick." I took her hand, silently pleading that she'd give me a little room on the subject.

"Sure. It's just that..." Her eyes wandered back to the police station and then back to me again. "He's forgotten," she simply said. Just like that. Forgotten. I wish I could forget so easily.

I reached out a hand, brushing back a lock of blond hair that'd fallen across her face and cupped her cheek in my palm. She stepped into me, wrapping me up in a tight hug while my own arms automatically folded around her. But I couldn't get him out of my mind, couldn't burn his face from my brain. And thinking about him while I was with Buffy made me feel so dirty that I broke away from the comfort she offered because I didn't ever want to feel that way with her.

"So you got the paperwork filled out?" I mumbled, looking away so she couldn't see the disgust in my eyes.

"Yeah." She cleared her throat. The kind where you don't really need to but you do it anyway because it was too uncomfortable not to. "Starting now, I have less than a day before facing the firing squad," she said with a wry grin.

"Will you feel better if I buy you lunch?"

"One last meal?" She grinned, genuinely this time. "Wouldn't miss it."

We started walking down the street. It was only after a couple of steps that our hands seemed to naturally find each other, our fingers tangling, twining. We spent the rest of the afternoon pretending that everything was all right. Buffy pretended like she wasn't about to be grounded for the rest of her life and I pretended like I'd never met Troy. Easier said than done but we managed. I think we did pretty well too. Had some fun, had some laughs...what more could you ask for?

Oh right.

As soon as we walked into the house and closed the door behind us, I looped an arm around Buffy's waist, pulling her back and hugging her from behind. Now it was perfect.

She let out a sigh and relaxed into my chest. "I wish we could stay like this forever," she whispered, tipping her head back to rest against my shoulder.

"Who says we won't?" I brushed my lips down the span of her neck, feeling the flutter of her pulse.

"No one --- but no one knows yet either."

I stopped, suddenly getting a nervous sensation in the pit of my stomach. "Is that a problem?" I tried making the question sound like it was no big deal but it sounded strained anyway.

She didn't say anything for a long moment. "I thought...I don't know." She shook her head. "Don't you want them to know about us?"

I turned her around cause I wanted to see her. I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking. The truth was, I hadn't really thought about it until she'd bought it up. Hadn't had the the time. But there wasn't that much to think about when you came right down to it. "This is between you and me, B. If people know about us, that's fine. If they don't, that's fine too cause the only thing that matters is what we feel for each other."

"But my mom, Giles, Willow..."

"What about them?" I was starting to get irritated now. "How come it always comes down to what other people think? Who gives a flying fuck? Life's too damn short for all this crap. You should know that more than anyone."

"What are you saying? You just want to ignore it?"

I gave her a look like 'why not'?

"it doesn't work that way, Faith. These people are our families, our friends. They're not strangers."

I walked away, her words fading or maybe she just stopped talking. Didn't really matter. I walked into the kitchen, reaching into the fridge to get some OJ.

"What is this about anyway?" I asked after taking a big gulp, knowing she had followed me in, knowing she was right behind me. "You want them to know? Fine, we'll tell them. We'll do whatever you want. Will that make you happy?"

"Why are you so mad?" She asked in a soft voice.

All the breath was knocked out of me then. No more anger or irritation in the face of one simple question asked by someone who I never wanted to upset. "I'm not mad," I said just as softly, turning around and putting down the carton of juice near the sink. "I guess I just don't want to think about it cause I already know how they're going to take the news. I'm sorry, B. I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"What do you mean you know? Faith, what do you think's going to happen?"

I smirked, leaning back against the counter. "I can see it now, B. Everybody would freak out. Then after the yelling and the same questions being asked over and over, they'll say it's all a phase --- something you'll grow out of. Oh, but hey, then they'll start to realize this isn't a phase for skanky little Faith. She's just fucked up like that. Shoulda seen it from the start, really. What were we thinking? And who ends up getting her ass shipped off and labeled a 'problem'? Give ya one guess."

"That's not going to happen."

I smiled, mostly at how much I wanted to believe her but I had more experience in the shit hitting the fan than she did. "Only thing different this time around is that I'm gonna hate it. I'm gonna hate leaving." Even thinking about leaving Buffy put a sharp pain in my chest like someone was squeezing my heart. This was a new experience for me and not one I was liking all that much.

"You're not going to leave, Faith," she said again with an urgent intensity burning in her eyes and taking my hands in a strong grip.

"How do you know that?" I almost begged her to tell me something, even if some part of my brain screamed at me that she was going to tell me nothing but lies.

"I know it because I love you. I never knew I could feel like this about *anyone*. It's feels like I'm burning up every time I'm with you. Like I'm one of those shooting stars that blaze up in the sky. And when I'm not with you, all I can think about is the time when I can be with you again." She smiled, cocking her head to look at me like I was something precious, something beautiful. "I don't care if everybody disapproves. Where you go, I go."

I swallowed hard at her words, along with the look in her eyes which told me I could trust her. "I don't think that's a promise you're ready to make, B."

She leaned in, pressing her lips to mine. "Let me be the judge of that, Faith."

****

"I think maybe you should sit down for this, dad." He looked over at me with a wary expression on his face as if he were expecting to be hit but just didn't know when it was coming. His suitcase wasn't even unpacked yet, he'd walked in the door not five minutes ago and now he was being asked to sit down...I didn't know whether to feel more for him or for me for having to tell him.

"Honey, is something wrong?" He asked, taking a seat on the recliner and loosening the knot on his tie.

I took a deep breath, getting ready to spill everything but before I could get a word in, Faith stepped from behind me and started talking. At first, I didn't even know what she was saying but then it became too clear.

"I'm sorry Mr. Summers," Faith said. "Your car got stolen and stripped because I wouldn't listen to Buffy and I took it out for a drive two nights ago. She tried to stop me but I was acting stupid. I reported it to the cops and they found it the next day but everything valuable on it was gone."

"Faith, what are you doing?" I hissed, taking a hold of her arm. But she wouldn't even look at me.

"B, stop," she said, her eyes downcast. "Stop trying to cover for me. This is all my fault and I'm not going to let you lie for me. Not this time."

"No, dad. This isn't...that isn't what happened." Dad wiped a hand across his eyes like he was really tired. "Dad."

"This isn't the first thing I wanted to hear when I walked through the door," he said, running a hand though his hair in a weary sign of exactly how tired he was feeling. "Look, Faith. I don't really know you as well as Joyce or Buffy might but this still comes as a...complete surprise to me. I'm sure you thought you had a very good reason to do this but for the life of me, I can't deal with this right now." He stood up, barely glancing at either one of us. "I'm going to call Joyce. Maybe it would be better if..." He let out a sigh and started up the stairs, snagging his suitcase on the way. And I heard him mutter something about hoping his insurance covered it but that wasn't what I was focusing on anymore.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, spinning Faith around so we were finally facing each other.

Her eyes were still focused somewhere off to my right. "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Faith, stop joking about it. I'm being serious here."

"So am I, B," she said, her eyes coming up to flick across my face. "But I won't let you take the heat for this one."

"You planned it all along?"

She smirked. "Trust me. I'm used to being seen as a screw up but you're not. This is nothing to me, B." When I tried to object again, she quickly placed a finger across my lips. "It's done. Hey, but at least this vacation wasn't a total waste." She grinned happily at me as if every problem revolving around us was nothing but smoke, inconsequential and weightless.

"No, it wasn't," I agreed, feeling myself getting lost in her liquid brown eyes. Those same eyes turned and looked upstairs and when they were sure my dad was no where in sight, Faith brushed her lips across mine in a tender gesture that made me realize again the depth of her feelings towards me. Nobody saw this side of her except me and I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to protect this sweet, vulnerable girl in front of me who, to the rest of the world, might as well have never existed.

My dad came down a couple of minutes later and basically told us to pack our bags because we were going back to Sunnydale in the morning. He told me I could stay if I wanted but there was no way I would, not without Faith.

"I understand, Buffy," he said, giving me a weary grin. "I do but I just wish this trip could have turned out differently."

"Me too, dad."

We made promises to 'do it again sometime' but the words all sounded hollow. Not entirely lies but not entirely the truth either. I didn't want to leave like this. Before I'd even come to LA, I had the whole summer planned out but nothing had gone according to plan. We were supposed to spend time together, have fun. Instead, we'd barely spent a whole day in each other's company and the vacation was being aborted not even halfway through. But Faith was right. It hadn't been a total waste because she and I had finally admitted how we felt about each other. And, so what if it'd taken a ton of liquor, the aftereffects of a near death experience and a stolen car for it to happen? The important thing was that it had happened.

All of my clothes had been neatly packed away when there was a soft knock on my door and after a moment, Faith poked her head in.

"Hey, all packed?" She asked, looking over at my suitcases.

"Yep. Everything in its right place and all that."

"Cool." She sat down on the edge of my bed and I immediately went over, sitting across her lap as she loosely wrapped me up in her arms. "B, you know your mom better than anyone, right? What do you think she'll be like on the punishment front?"

"The worse thing I've ever done was burn down the gym and you know what she did after that."

"Yeah, that reminds me. Aren't you *still* grounded?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow.

I leveled a stare at her and muttered, "I'd rather not think about it, thanks." She gave me an apologetic grin. "But are you sure about this Faith? You can still tell them the truth..."

"No, B. Don't worry about it. I'll be fine." Her words were supposed to comfort me and I did feel relieved which only made me feel more guilty than I already did. She was taking the rap for me...which sounds funny even when I say it in my own head. But the point was, she was going to get punished for something I did. "Hey," she said softly, touching my cheek with the tips of her fingers. "You all right? You got a spaced out expression there."

"I was just wondering how Willow and Xander were enjoying their vacations," I said, not voicing what I was really thinking. Faith just smiled at me and said nothing.

At an ungodly hour the next morning, the alarm clock sounded and after a quick and awkward good-bye to my dad, Faith and I boarded a cab to the bus station. We actually got there right on time so we didn't have to sit around and wait which was great because otherwise, I think we would have fallen asleep on the benches and missed the bus. As it was, we fell asleep *on* the bus and I didn't wake up until we were just entering Sunnydale. My head was pillowed on Faith's shoulder and even through the dirty windows, I could see it was going to be a great day, weatherwise anyway.

"Faith," I muttered, nudging her gently in the stomach. "Faith, we're almost there." She moaned but other than that, didn't react. I sighed and rested my head back on her shoulder since it didn't seem like she was going to wake up until she felt like it. On the short way over to the bus depot, I had time to think and brood over the fact that when we got back home, we couldn't be as physical with each other as we'd gotten used to anymore. It was almost as if my body was naturally attracted to Faith and sometimes, I found my hands wandering to places where, if my mom were to see, she'd definitely have a few questions about.

Faith was still leery about what would happen if we were to come out about our relationship and I had to agree that right now wouldn't be the very best time to do so. But I wanted to touch her, I wanted to kiss her, I wanted everyone to know that I loved her because she was my girlfriend and not being able to do that was going to be pure hell.

When we climbed off the bus fifteen minutes later, mom was already there waiting for us with a stony expression on her face. I knew it was bad then. Whenever she was very upset like I knew she'd be now, she would get that cool, intense look on her face. It was like the calm before the storm and I flinched just thinking about how much destruction and damage the storm would bring this time around. She waited for us to get the bags but didn't say a word to us in the meantime.

As soon as we got back to the house, mom said, "Buffy, why don't you go unpack. I'd like to talk to Faith alone."

"But mom --" She cut me off with a look that could've given Medusa a run for her money. I caught Faith's eye, trying to give her some level of comfort. She gave me a wan smile back before I got my stuff and climbed up the stairs as slowly as I could possibly get away with. But I still couldn't catch any of the conversation that went on between them. Several times as I was pacing back and forth in my room, I felt like running downstairs and telling my mom that I was the one that lost the car.

Around the two hundredth time I'd walked across my room, I heard the muffled sound of footsteps coming up the stairs and then the door to Faith's room opening and closing. At least it was over now. I opened up my door, torn between seeing Faith right away and going downstairs to see mom. But it was probably a good idea to give Faith some time alone for a little while at least so I went downstairs. Mom was sitting on the couch, her head in her hands.

"Mom?"

One eye peeked out and then her head rose as she gave me a tired rendition of a smile. "Buffy, what is it?"

"You all right?" I moved closer.

She shrugged and rubbed two fingers across that spot on her right temple which, to me, always indicated that she was near the end of her rope. "Buffy...Faith told me what happened. I think she was trying to do it in as few words as possible." She pinned me with that patented gaze that I think all mothers learn, designed specifically to extract information by exploiting mountains of guilt built up since childhood. "Now, I want to hear it from you."

If I lied now, not only would I be lying to my mother but in some way, I'd be betraying Faith too although it was essentially her idea to begin with. This was just too unbelievably 'fucked up' as Faith would say. "There's not really much to say," I mumbled, unable to meet her eyes. "I'm sure you got pretty much the whole version from Faith."

She didn't say anything in answer to my response and I risked looking up to find that she had a faraway expression on her face. "Mom?" I called out softly, not all that enthusiastic about breaking her away from whatever trance she was in. When I got her attention back again, I began pleading Faith's case. "I know she's sorry for what she's done. Please don't be too hard on her."

She nodded but wouldn't say anything more on the subject. Instead, she suggested rather pointedly that I go back to my room until she called us down for lunch and, by then, I was more than ready to run. When I reached the top of the stairs, the thought of going into my own room seemed as distasteful a thought as eating lunch. Instead, I walked right into Faith's bedroom and couldn't help the little grin that popped onto my face as I saw her sprawled on her bed. And, somehow, even in that utterly relaxed position, she still managed to look sexy as hell.

****

Hard as it is to believe, being grounded wasn't something I was used to. For one thing, before I got adopted, nobody really cared what I did as long as I kept them in the dark about it. I think we all bought into that whole philosophy about ignorance being bliss. But now, that was all out the window cause I had people who actually thought that what I did with my life was important and worth knowing. So being grounded wasn't too bad. Just really boring cause, basically, I wasn't allowed to do shit.

We'd been back for two weeks and I'd been cooped up for each and every one of those fourteen days. Shit but that tends to wear on you especially when there's nothing good to see on TV besides some goofy ass soap opera. Even Jerry Springer was starting to get retarded. I mean, you'd think the guests would use that one brain they share between them and figure out that they're acting like total white trash whores which wouldn't be so bad if they didn't act so surprised every time their girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever told them they were sleeping with their best friend(s)/relative/hooker.

And because I was grounded, I couldn't just go out and find the fun whenever the hell I felt like it. I'd barely even seen Xander and Willow since I got back which sucked big cause I kinda missed them. Not like I'd ever say it though cause I'm what most people would call emotionally fucked up. And it was getting real tired pushing Buffy to go out with them instead of spending all her free time cooped up in the house with me. It wasn't like I didn't want her around. It was just that I didn't want her sharing the punishment with me when she didn't have to. It made me feel guilty and I hated feeling guilty.

Cause if I really wanted to, I could've gone out. It wasn't like mom was there to check up on me every minute of every day to make sure that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. But there was that guilt thing again, making me stay the line --- even I didn't believe it sometimes. When had I become responsible? You'd think I would've noticed the change especially since it was me doing all the changing.

Anyway, the only times I went out was for a jog in the morning and an occasional patrol at night. I'd convinced myself it was all business but the truth was, not only was killing vamps my sacred duty as a Slayer but it was fun too. Added bonus if you ask me. It's kinda like a power rush. You're holding someone's life in your hands and you can either let them go or kill them and since they're evil, not much of a brain teaser there y'know. I keep telling myself it's not supposed to be so much fun cause it's life and death, either mine or theirs but shit...I guess I just like my job. At least I ain't gonna be one of those disgruntled workers you read about who go to work and shoot up their co-workers cause they feel that's the only way to get on the 11 o'clock news. Not like I have a lot of coworkers to begin with cause it's all Buffy. Always will be if I have anything to do with it.

I shook myself out of the rambling daydream. Damn but I've been having them way too often since coming back to Sunny D. There's just something about this town that makes me want to retreat into my mind and not come out until next year. Thankfully, I hear the lock turning on the front door and I know that Buffy's home and at least, I'll have someone to share the boredom with.

"Faith?"

"In here," I respond, smiling as I see her coming into view at the entrance of the living room. But before she can even come in, there's a loud knock on the front door. She turns to me with a quizzical expression on her face and turns right back around to answer it. A minute later, she comes back with two people following behind her. It was a woman and a man but my attention wasn't so much on the guy as riveted on this woman who looked so fucking familiar that it sucked the breath right out of me like some goddamn vacuum cleaner had been turned on in my chest. Her dark brown hair was pulled back into a long ponytail. Her face was lightly made up but still beautiful in an exotic sort of way which still showed through despite the little wrinkles and crow's feet she was getting.

"Faith?" It comes out half question, half exclamation. This stranger, looking at me with these big brown eyes and a tentative smile starts taking baby steps towards me and then her bottom lip starts quivering and the next thing you know she's bawling her eyes out, grabbing me and using me like a giant handkerchief as she buries her face in my chest. I look over the top of her head at Buffy, barely able to stop from freaking out. Then I hear the woman muttering something and it finally gets through to my brain that what she's saying over and over again was "My baby." Whose baby? What baby? I'm the baby?

She finally pulls away enough to hold my face in between her hands, staring at me with tears streaking down her cheeks. And all I can do is stare blankly back.

"You--you don't know who I am," she almost whispers, her right hand gently brushing my hair back. Her eyes start to cloud over again as more tears leak out.

"Should I?" I take her hands in mine and push them away. This was really starting to freak me out. A complete fucking stranger was crying in my arms and she looked like she hadn't even begun to tap the waterworks. I look over at Buffy again but she was just standing there with her eyes darting back and forth between me and the woman. "B," I say, snapping my fingers and carefully trying to move away without making any sudden movements. But I couldn't even get a foot away before the woman pulls me back, looking at me with such intensity that I almost couldn't meet her eyes. That's when Buffy walks next to me, resting her hand on my arm. The woman standing in front of me doesn't even seem to notice as her eyes search mine...for what, I'm not sure.

"Faith," she says again. "Faith, it's me...your mother."

I suck down a deep breath, trying to fight down the nausea that's already turning my stomach around. I look at her looking at me and all I can do is push her away as hard as I can. She would've fallen, maybe even hurt herself if the man behind her hadn't caught her.

"Faith ---" she starts to say again, a stunned expression on her face.

"You're not my mother!" I shouted, hearing the blood thrumming in my ears. "My mother is dead so unless you're a fucking ghost, you're not her!"

She looked like she was going to cry again but instead she suddenly got this hard look in her eyes and it was almost like I was staring at a different person. It threw me for a second and then I didn't have time to think about it as she started speaking again, this time in a measured, even tone of voice. "That's a lie. You've been told lies all your life but I'm standing right here in front of you. I know you remember me, Faith. I saw it the moment I walked into this room." She paused, probably waiting for me to say something but I couldn't. I didn't know what to say. My brain was running in circles trying to catch its own tail.

The man behind her then stepped forward with a supposedly reassuring smile plastered on his skeezy mug. "I'm sure this is all a lot to absorb coming as it is but there's really no other way around it." I eyed him, in his thousand dollar suit, perfectly cut sandy hair, and fake sympathetic expression which screamed 'trust me' and I knew he was a lawyer --- a good one by the looks of it. "Sara really is your mother. If you want proof, we can get you birth certificates, social security cards, pictures of the two of you together with your father..." He quirked an eyebrow, studying me like I was some sort of puzzle. "There's really no doubt about it. The physical appearance itself is startling to say the least."

"No." I shake my head. "This can't be true." But the words coming out of my mouth sound hollow to my ears.

She steps up to me and her expression softens again. "But it is," she says and almost makes as if to touch me again but I step backwards, nearly bumping into the couch. "Faith, my little baby." And she starts choking up, her hand wiping away the wetness from her cheeks. "I never wanted to leave you...I'm so sorry baby."

"Wh--what do you want?" Buffy asks. It's almost like she doesn't even realize she's doing it but she's putting herself between me and them.

My mother or whoever the crazy fuck was peels her eyes away from me, giving Buffy a quick look. But before she can say anything, smarmy lawyer guy smoothly cuts in. "We should really sit down and talk about this, preferably over some coffee. It's really a pretty long story. I know this must come as a shock to you, Faith but I think you'd want to hear it."

I don't remember if I actually said yes to his idea but before I knew it, we were all sitting in the living room with assorted drinks in front of us like some perverted dream of a Norman Rockwell painting. I was on the recliner and Buffy sat on the arm, lending me support by just being close by. The other two were on the sofa. We'd been sitting like that for a couple of minutes. The only sounds around the house were the soft ticking of the clock and an occasional sip being taken. When that...woman, Sara finally started talking, I almost dropped the can of coke in my hand cause my nerves were pulled so tight, I was on the edge of snapping.

"I was seventeen when I had you." Her head was down, staring into the coffee mug which she had a death grip on. "I met your father and..." She shrugged in weary acceptance. "We fell in love. He was so different from anyone else I'd met in my life --- so attentive, so loving, full of enthusiasm for life." I couldn't help smiling at the memory of my father. To me, he was all that and much more. Nothing could ever take those memories from me. "But as much as I loved him, I hated what he turned out to be. It started out small. Just a little betting on the side during the weekends on the games. Small time stuff --- 10, 20 dollars. Then it became a hundred dollars, two, three. Then he started spending more money than we had, more money than we could have made in a year, five years. But by the time I began noticing, it was too late."

"Yeah, he died," I interrupted harshly. I didn't need her telling me about that cause I'd lived through it. Still did every fucking night. "Now why don't you turn your Mother Goose storytelling ways onto why you disappeared. If you didn't die, why did you abandon me?" The last two words came out about as hard as I'd felt during all those times when I got teased for being an orphan, having absolutely nobody in the world I could call my blood.

"I didn't," she says, her bottom lip quivering. I give her a smirk that showed her exactly what I thought about it but she didn't miss a beat. "I had a mental breakdown. After I lost your father, I was left all alone with a small child. There was no money, I had debts to pay off, I didn't even have a job...I couldn't cope anymore. When one of those men forced his way into the house demanding his money, I had no choice. If I didn't stop him, he would've killed me. I don't remember what happened after that but they say I killed him and they sent me to this hospital. Whenever I asked them about you, they wouldn't tell me anything."

"Sara's rights as a mother were stomped on," Lawyer guy added, taking her hand in a pseudo-empathetic way. "And when they finally let her out, she was coldly informed that her daughter has been under the misconception that she's been dead all these years."

"And who the hell are you and what do you have to do with any of this?" I narrowed my eyes at him, fed up with his greasy attitude.

"Faith, this is Howard," Sara butts in. "He helped me find you. Actually..." A wide smile began spreading across her face, the first genuinely happy smile I'd seen her give since she'd walked through the door. "That's the other big shock I've got for you."

I quirked an eyebrow at her and murmured, "Like this wasn't enough of a shocker. Well, don't keep me waiting 'mom'. Let's hear your uber sedative-worthy news."

Her smile falters only slightly before she forges ahead like I hadn't said anything. "I've met someone and we're going to get married." She paused dramatically, probably to let the news sink its claws into my brain.

"Congratulations," I said in a deadpan monotone.

"You're going to be very happy living with us from now on. I promise you, Faith, I'll make everything up to you."

"Wait. Hold the fuck up!" I jump up and so does Buffy. "Please tell me I didn't hear you right. Live with you? What are you still brain dead? Did I say I wanted to live with you? Hell, up till today, I didn't even know you were still alive and anyway, I've got a family already. I don't want to go anywhere with you."

Her whole face falls but her voice as she continues to speak is rock steady. "You're my baby, Faith. Even though you might not believe it now, I'm doing what's best for you and us being together is what's best for you. We're going to be a family again, Faith...a family." The light blazing in her eyes makes me wonder if those guys in white labcoats didn't let her out too early.

****

This wasn't fair.

It was the total opposite definition of fair and if I wasn't so angry right now, I'd dredge up the word from my brain and say it out loud. "They can't make you do this," I said to Faith's back as I paced back and forth across the width of her room.

"It's already done," came the soft response.

"Would you please stop packing?" I asked, stopping in the middle of the room in a huff.

"I could but what's the point?"

I went over to her and forcibly took the shirt she was folding from her hands. "I can't believe you're just going. You sound like you've given up."

She looked at me for a couple of seconds, just looked at me with an unbearably sad expression in her eyes. I had a momentary glimpse of exactly what this was doing to her and I hated myself for making it any worse than it already was by bitching about something that neither one of us could change. Half worked out thoughts of running away had been discussed almost desperately throughout the last two days as we laid together in bed during the night but it was clear. There was nothing we could do. We were the Slayers, two of the most powerful women on the face of the earth and there was nothing we could do against the legal system.

"B," Faith said, calling my attention back. She ran her fingers lightly down my cheek, stopping briefly to trace my bottom lip with her thumb before turning back to the bag on her bed.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, hugging her side to my chest and resting my head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know how hard this must be for you." I heard her letting out a small sigh. "I just love you so much and the thought of us not being together..." I stuttered over the last couple of words. 'Not being together'. I couldn't even imagine it without feeling my heart constrict painfully.

"How old am I, B?"

My head rose up at the unexpected question. "What? You're sixteen."

"Right, and I'll be seventeen in a couple more days. After that it's only another year before I'm eighteen."

"And they can't tell you what to do anymore," I said, finally realizing what she was trying to tell me.

"That's the plan." She turned around in my arms and wrapped her own over my shoulders. "Look, B. There's nothing else we can get away with. Believe me, if there was anything, I'd have done it by now. I don't want to leave you, B. But --"

"I know," I said. "I know."

"So you think you can wait for a year?" Her expression told me I didn't have to. That she wouldn't hold it against me if a year was too long a time for me to wait for her to come back. But it was about time I set her straight about what I thought about that particular option.

"If I had to, I'd wait forever."

She smiled almost shyly as if she couldn't quite bring herself to believe what I said but then eventually, she seemed to accept it and leaning in, she brought her lips to mine and kissed me. It was a desperate kiss, one that was shared by two people who knew their time together was slowly ticking away. But underneath all that, there was always the promise, the hope that there would be an 'us' somehow or another. And it was that which I sought now, almost frantically in my haste.

She let me take control. Allowed me to touch her wherever I wanted and when she pulled away, I saw that she had her eyes screwed tightly shut. I placed feather light kisses across her lips which were a bit swollen from our previous go. Eventually, she opened her eyes which were watery and so full of pain that I ached to put an end to it. She turned away without another word, going back to packing her bag which was almost full already.

"You mind if I just leave the trophy here?" She asked, pulling the zipper closed. "It's kinda too much hardware to be lugging around. And, anyway, I'll be back soon." I almost lost it right there, my eyes straying to the trophy sitting on the floor which Faith had won a couple of months ago from her first meet. "It'll be all right, B," she said, picking up the bag from her bed and walking towards the door. "See me out?" She gave me a weak smile, her hand poised on the doorknob.

We walked downstairs and the mood between us was almost like we were in mourning. Maybe we were. It certainly felt like an appropriate situation for black attire. Mom came up to us and gave Faith a big hug and I could hear her trying to choke down the sobs. She'd tried everything she could but Sara and Howard had already beaten us by five steps in the legal department. Her adoption papers were revoked and there was nothing she could do about it.

"I'm going to miss you, Faith," she said, separating enough to look at her.

"Thank you," Faith said and, for the first time I heard her voice cracking over the words. "Thanks for everything, mom."

We walked outside where a car was already parked with a driver I didn't recognize standing beside it. He took the bag from Faith's hand without even being asked and put it in the trunk. Faith turned to me one last time and grabbed me, hugging me to her as hard as she could and whispered "I love you" into my ear. The tears were rolling down my cheeks with abandon by the time she broke away and got into the car's back seat.

I watched the car pull away with mom's arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders. "It'll be all right, Buffy," she said, inadvertently echoing Faith's earlier words. "I'm sure after she gets settled down, she'll call..." I watched until the car turned a corner and disappeared from view. I turned to mom and she pulled me into a hug.

But it didn't make me feel better. I knew nothing would until Faith was back again.

All I had to do was wait a year.

She'd promised that she'd come back to me and I knew she'd keep her word.

Senior Daze